My first anal experience was not what I would assume a typical first time to be, but who knows, maybe you’re just as drunk and slutty as I am. Let me preface this by saying that I legitimately enjoy anal. It is a semi-regular component of my sex life and it rocks. But I can say without a doubt that my first time was the strangest occurrence of events ever.
As with all my stories, this tale of drunk love started in the basement of a frat house. The theme was dirty Disney and I was absolutely killing my slutty Tinkerbell costume. I was by the pong table chatting with a sister when one of the boys came up to ask if I want to be his beer pong partner. Because I am insanely competitive and I love anything where you can win, I said yes. The only problem was that I am absolutely terrible at beer pong. We lost in like five minutes. Whoops.
We start talking and dancing and drinking, and before I realized it, the group I had gone out with came up to tell me they were getting the next pledge ride home. Decision time: do I go with my friends, do I invite this boy to come back with me, or do I stay and party? Before I even had a chance to tell them that only pussies go home when there is still alcohol flowing, my new friend said he’d hop in a ride back with us because he lived on campus too. Problem solved. So seven girls and one guy all piled into a small four-door sedan, meaning Mr. Potential Fuck Buddy and I had plenty of time to get cozy. With that many drunk girls in the car, of course we had to stop for food. My oh-so-generous suitor paid for mozzarella sticks. And they say chivalry is dead.
After we were properly fed, we were all dropped off to our respective dorms. I was last, and I did something I don’t normally do: I invited this boy upstairs. Now, don’t get the wrong idea. I fuck a good bit, probably more than your average single girl, but never in my room. I have this really weird thing about not liking to have sex in bed. Like I literally have NEVER had sex in any of the beds I’ve ever called my own. I also like to leave right after sex because I like to sleep alone, so inviting a guy over is crazy unusual for me.
When we got into my apartment, I showed him to my room and went to the bathroom, only to realize I had my fucking period. I’m a lady, so of course I wasn’t going to have rando sex on my period. Another night of sympathy head. Ugh. My roommate was away for the weekend and as I mentioned, I don’t like hooking up in my bed, so because I’m a drunk bitch, I moved things over to her bed. I told him the period deal, but ensured him I’d still blow him, so of course, he stayed. We got started – suck, suck, suck, lick, lick, lick – and then he flipped me around, 69 style. I was confused, but fuck it, I didn’t care. If he wanted to be eye-to-eye with my tampon string, more power to him.
I got back to business when all of a sudden I felt a tongue. IN. MY. ASS. This mother fucker was tossing my salad while I slobbed on his knob. This is so beyond, I can’t even. There were fingers and a tongue in my ass and then I got even more confused because it felt, like, really fucking good. I could not process what was happening, when all of a sudden he sat up and lined his dick up with my ass like a car about to pull into a parking spot. The next thing I knew, we were having anal. I had no idea how it happened, but it felt really, really good, so we kept going.
We finished, he pulled out and came on my (roommate’s) sheets and I looked at him for the first time, a changed woman. He had the biggest grin on his face and said, “I think I can get hard again, wanna try it again?” Fuck it, I might as well commit to the anal lifestyle. I looked him dead in the eye and said “Fuck yes.”.
Image via Shutterstock
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ChampagneShowers
Champagne Showers is a contributing writer for TSM. She is your typical Northern Diva. If curse words, sexual content, and drug use offend you, then bless your heart. CS will continue living the life you're too scared to live. email her at: champagne_showers@outlook.com
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