Guys can be fucking idiots. This isn’t news. This isn’t groundbreaking information. This isn’t a secret that your wise grandmother whispered to you as she taught you about life. It’s just a known fact that we have learned by default. Some men, however, are more idiotic than others.
A Romanian man, Sorin Georgian Salinievici, is one of the more idiotic ones. He’s a 24-year-old security guard trying to auction off his virginity. Anyone else grossed out yet?
Security guard selling virginity for International Women’s Day – but only to someone ‘decent’ http://t.co/AsPJPGsdDb pic.twitter.com/8q3lsyoC3q
— Daily Mirror (@DailyMirror) February 23, 2015
That’s right. A male virgin thinks that he can get women to fight over his pure, untapped sex-hose. That alone makes me want to pay the thousands of dollars in travel expenses to whatever non-American country he lives in and physically laugh in his face. Apparently, he got the idea after reading about a woman who sold her virginity for money. Key word: woman. According to The Mirror, he “read about girls doing this and thought if they can do it so can I.” Uh, wrong? Basically, there are two main facts we need to address:
1. That whole “prostitution” nonsense. Selling your body for money, first of all, is a big no-no. Sure, “Pretty Woman” might have taught us otherwise, but Julia Roberts is an angel, so obviously a hot, rich guy is going to snag her up and make her live happily ever after. But for normal, regular attractiveness level, non-Julia Roberts types, hooking isn’t the answer.
2. He thinks he’ll get money for his 24-year-old virgin bod. A 24-year-old male virgin is not sought after. He is not coveted. He is not a diamond in the ruff. If anything, he’s kind of scary. You wonder what happened. Does he have a small penis? Does he watch foot porn? Exactly how many unopened action figures does he sleep with at night?
Despite the odds, our leading prostitute man has an awesome marketing strategy. He put up posters around town with the header, “It could be a nice present on International Women’s Day on March 8th.” What better way to celebrate a day of female rights than by shelling out tons of cash and pity-banging a 24-year-old who still lives at home? I guess that’s why they call it charity.
As for the amount? He’s hoping to get around €2,000 (and since this is America, that’s about $2,300) for his sexual awakening. As he told The Mirror, “Regarding her appearance, the woman that buys my virginity has to look decent. I’m not saying she has to be very beautiful, but to look normal and be a nice, honest person.” Sigh. What? First of all, he’s delusional to think that any female is going to spend more than two grand to bone him, but now he’s making appearance demands? Sorry, honey, but that’s not how it works. If you want to bang a hot chick, do what every other guy in the history of the world has done: Go to the gym, join a frat, and buy her endless vodka-crans. Don’t expect her to pay for anything, including the late-night Taco Bell that you’re required to provide.
Honestly, all you can say is “bless your heart.” This guy has taken reverse psychology to a whole different level. Nice try with the whole “you pay me” thing. Let’s be real — no one wants to take an old guy’s virginity. I hate to break it to you, but when push comes to thrust, you’re most likely going to be the one shelling out the big bucks to get rid of that V-card..
[via The Mirror]
Nice Move240
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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