If You’re Not Going On A Cruise For Spring Break You’re Doing It Wrong

Spring. Break. Yes, it may be like four months away. But you know what that means? Right now is the time to start your planning. Because this isn’t a paper you can put off until the last minute. This is Spring Break. If you put it off until the last minute you might find yourself stuck at home being pale and miserable because everything got booked up. Or you could be pale and elated like me!

I’ve been on all sorts of Spring Break trips. But my favorite by far, has got to be my cruise trip on Inception At Sea.

But I could understand your concerns about going with the cruise route. Let’s address them.

Aren’t cruises for retirees and family vacays? Would it be socially acceptable to be a drunken idiot with all those judging eyes? Sure, you could spend your week of freedom on a boat full of babies in old people. There’s plenty of cruises that would provide that service to you. But not on Inception, because it’s strictly a Spring Break cruise. And it’s 18+, so no crying babies are allowed. So you don’t have to worry about being that drunken idiot, because everyone will be that drunken idiot.

I just want to sit in a beach chair tanning with my toes in the sand. How am I going to do that on a cruise trip? Fret not. You can still get your beach bikini Instagram picture. You won’t even have to edit the photo to make the sand whiter or the water bluer! The cruise stops in The Bahamas, so you’ll be beaching in the life of ~luxury.~

Just look at all that luxury. You can’t get that on some scummy local beach. Am I a Kadashian?

(never got my hair wet tho)

A photo posted by Rachel Page (@rachelpage_) on

The only FaceTuning you’ll need is a little resizing here or there from the “Spring Break diet and workout plan” that didn’t end up happening. But of course, I’m sure you don’t FaceTune your pictures. Me neither.

Isn’t food and booze expensive AF? Food is all. inclusive. I woke up, ate a cheeseburger, and didn’t stop shoveling cheeseburger in my mouth until I passed out. And there are drink packages, so you’ll be able to keep the coconut rum flowing. Life is great.

So there you have it: cruise >>> everything else.

And it’s a music festival, you guys!!! I got to meet Lil Dicky, The Chainsmokers, and saw Mr. Kylie Jenner (Tyga) perform. I have never felt more alive then coasting through the sea, a drink in my hand, shouting “Rack City, Bitch” at the top of my lungs. That’s living.

So don’t be an idiot. It’s March 13-17 and leaves out of Miami. Mark your Kate Spade, your Lilly Pulitzer, or whatever planner you have. For more info, visit And maybe I’ll see you there.

Image via Shutterstock

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Rachel Page

Rachel enjoys spending her time thinking about Britney Spears, whining about being single, and thinking about Britney Spears. She doesn't take to criticism well, so be nice or so she will cry herself to sleep! Email: [email protected]

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