I used to introduce myself as “Jane from (chapter redacted).” I wanted anyone and everyone to know about my new identity. I wore my tattered hand-me-down t-shirts with pride and strutted to class with my head held high as soon as I got my letters. I was fully enthralled with the idea that I was a sorority woman. People’s attitudes towards me changed, extremely positively, when I told them what chapter I was in. My family showered me in gifts during big/little week and obsessed over me like only a fam line could. I may have been a freshman, but I was a somebody.
My first time going through rush on the other side, I was so excited. I was one of the girls I’d looked up to just the prior year, and I had the opportunity to bring the joy I had felt over the last year to a girl just like me. I was scrupulously little hunting, scanning every party to find the girl who I would be able to call my own. I found her on the first night out with the new members, and I was so excited to show her the ropes. I showed her off to all my frat friends, and they accepted her as their own as they’d done for me. She may have been a freshman, but she was a somebody.
The next year, recruitment just became a mandatory event. I painted a smile on my face as our recruitment chair screamed at us instructed us to do. I had paid my dues, literally and metaphorically. I hung all the decorations nearly single-handedly while older sisters took pictures. My little was doing the same hunting that I had done the year before as I sat idly by. I helped her decorate the room and bought her alcohol, and was super ecstatic that our line was growing. I was hyper aware that the new pledge class worshipped the ground I walked on. Everything I said was funny, everything I wore was fabulous. I was the sister they strived to be. They idolized me just as I had idolized older sisters. I was THE somebody.
And I was over it.
I wish I could say that with each passing year, my love for my chapter grows stronger. It did until I saw what was really going on. I am close friends with e-board members, and I can not believe the bullshit that sisters pull. Not showing up to mandatory events, asking questions that were clearly stated in meetings and minutes, and just straight up bitching when they don’t get their way. Every sister is abusing her status in one way or another. The younger sisters are so excited to be a member that they feel invincible. The older sisters feel that because they had been there for longer that they are omnipotent. I’m done with being yelled at. I’m done with following rules. I’m done with being monitored. I’m done with having this organization dictate my life.
A part of me feels guilty. The chapter has brought me my best friends, an assload of confidence in myself, and networking opportunities that have furthered my education as well as my future career. And I was faithful. I was a good little girl. I attended events, mandatory and non-mandatory. I cheered on my sisters at Greek Week activities when I could have easily stayed home. I got good grades and kept my GPA up. I gave up my seat in meeting for older sisters. But I’ve seen many good deeds and even bad deeds go unnoticed. A corrupt standards systems that punishes even the most ass-kissing asskissers. How many times will we be reprimanded as a group until we realize it’s the same six sisters who are dragging serious ass? If it weren’t for my close friends and graduation on the horizon, I would be out of here in a second.
Next year, I’ll graduate. I’ll get sentimental when I read my speech during pref round. Through fat tears, I’ll share with strangers all the good that Greek life has brought me. I’ll think about all the socials I danced at, all the movie nights with my little, and all the little moments that shaped my college career. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I may be a graduating senior, but I was somebody.
One girl will listen to my story and catch the feeling. Standing in our house, she’ll feel like she’s at home. She will have no idea what she is getting herself into. She may be a freshman, but she will be somebody..
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