I’m Just Kind Of Pissed I’m Not Famous Yet

I'm Just Kind Of Pissed I'm Not Famous Yet

It’s been tough these last few years. I’m not sure I have the poetry of words to accurately paint a picture of my pain and frustration. It’s the ultimate betrayal: a betrayal of the universe. I have done everything I was supposed to starting when I was just a child. I knew what I wanted to be, and I knew what I needed to be. Every night I went to sleep hoping the next day was the big day when my prophecy was fulfilled. Every morning I woke up and picked out the outfit that would be the one I was wearing when all of my dreams came true. And every day I’m disappointed that I’m not wildly rich and famous.

It’s not like I’m asking for anything that isn’t within the realm of possibilities. I was born to be famous. I just know it. I have a feeling that sits in my heart that yearns for fame. It sits right next to the void that I try to fill with the approval of strangers. I see celebrities in interviews and on the red carpet, and something tells me that entertaining the public through the most massive media is what I was born to do. I don’t get camera shy, I love public speaking, I’m willing to do anything for a laugh, I could sit very, very still as my glam squad does their magic, and I could rock the shit out of an evening gown. The friendships I make with celebrities would make for record-breaking Instagrams, and the countless relationships I have will all be gossip mag gold. I am more than willing to make a spectacle of myself, so much so that it is shocking that I still have not been discovered by a highly regarded talent agent.

All of my efforts are geared towards living the Hollywood life that I deserve. I practice my angles in the mirror and test them on people I snapchat. I put my best material on Twitter, where it is subject to be stolen by a parody account at any moment. That’s right, I put my own intellectual property, that should be paid for at this point, on a FREE website just because I have a passion for people pleasing. I allow, nay, encourage my friends to post embarrassing pictures of me to entertain their own followers. I was made to be a celebrity. So what is taking so long?!

I must say, I am thankful I did not start out as a child star. It is incredibly unfortunate that most child stars have such a hard time growing up, and I was blessed with a “normal” adolescence. But now, I am ready to blossom. I am ready for E! News, paparazzi, and scrutinizing of my every move. It would be a dream if I had the world’s attention at every moment of the day. I solemnly vow to give the world the show of a lifetime, all I need is a fleeting chance.

Image via Shutterstock

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to [email protected] or by smoke signal.

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