I’m Struggling With My Not-Boyfriend’s Social Media Behavior Because It’s “Normal”

I'm Struggling With My Not-Boyfriend's Social Media Behavior Because It's "Normal"

Twenty Minutes. I spent twenty minutes working staging the perfect selfie. The one where I look hot but like, effortlessly hot. The one where enough of my boobs were out that they were basically a focal point, but not so much that it looked intentional. I spent twenty minutes turning in circles trying to figure out the best lighting, fluffing up my hair, puckering my lips so they’d look fuller without venturing into the world of the fullblown duck face. Finally, I had taken the perfect selfie, I quickly typed up the perfect caption “just hanging out” and sent it to my boyfriend who’s not my boyfriend.

I refreshed the screen a couple times, waiting to see the notification that he had taken a screenshot. Only the notification never came. Instead, he opened my snap. That’s it. He opened it, didn’t replay it, didn’t take a screenshot and didn’t even snap me back.

This is not the first time I’ve been burned by this boy, because who likes a boy that hasn’t burned her? I’ve tried to confront him. I once “jokingly” mentioned how he keeps leaving me on read, and how it’s literally the only thing I think about for a full 24 hours after it happens, and it legitimately affects my mood for the remainder of the day. And do you know what he had the audacity to say? “I just get busy, it’s no big deal.” As if Snapchat is really just a platform for you to look at a picture for a few minutes and then let it disappear. And it slowly occurred to me that in his male mind, the subtle nuances of social media, texting, and the complex flirting rituals that accompany it are lost on him — he watches every single person’s story. Every single person’s!

His nonsense extends far past Snapchat. I posted a bikini Insta and he liked it but didn’t comment, like some kind of sadist. And this would have been fine — except later, he told me verbally how hot I looked in my picture. Dafuq? So you liked it enough to tell me later, but you couldn’t even leave me some flame emojis? Like, this is nice and all, but now I’m the only person who knows you think this, so what’s the point?

Yeah, I guess it’s nice that he doesn’t let social media control his life and he usually keeps his phone away and pays attention to me when we’re together. But then again, is it so wrong for me to want my boyfriend who’s not my boyfriend to comment on my pictures for the world to see and to snap be back when I send a hot pic? In this house, we validate, man. And it’s going to be better for both of us once you learn the rules.

Image via Shutterstock

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