In Biggest Foot-In-Mouth Move Of All Time, Phi Mu At Elmhurst Faces Disciplinary Action For Trashing Newspapers…That Said They DIDN’T Haze

Phi Mu

My mother always told me that sometimes, your best bet in the face of adversity is to do nothing. Just wait out whatever scandal is going on. Say as little as possible. Don’t involve yourself. Don’t give them something to talk about. The easiest way to get your name out of their mouths is to stop giving them something to talk about.

The mothers of the girls in Phi Mu at Elmhurst never told their daughters that.

Not too long ago, the sorority was investigated for hazing and the school’s newspaper, The Leader, ran a report–a report that concluded the hazing allegations were false. Regardless, the girls were still pretty salty about their name…not being dragged through the mud, so they found about 800 of the 1,500 copies and threw them in the trash.

Needless to say, the newspaper’s editor-in-chief was disappointed.

“It seems like they were trying to censor us, and they infringed on our First Amendment right of freedom of the press,” he said.

“It was saddening to see our work tossed out just because a couple of people didn’t like what we wrote,” he said.

The organization has agreed to reimbuse The Leader $1,000 to cover the cost of the stolen newspapers, but disciplinary action will likely be taken. The consequences may range from individuals having to write a paper about the First Amendment to probation for the entire chapter.

You were in the clear, Phi Mu. Dammit.

[via Chicago Tribune]

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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