I believe that Dante was wrong. Hell is just one circle, and that circle is getting your period the minute you arrive at your spring break destination. I should know because it’s happened to me.
Maybe it’s just me, but the last thing I need when I’m bleeding from my lady bits is to be surrounded by a bunch of extremely hot, mostly naked, super drunk people who aren’t suggesting we hit the nearest Taco Bell ASAP.
After all, I bloat an extra jean size, break out like a fourteen-year-old who hasn’t discovered Clarisonic, and turn into a starving, raging bitch. I also bleed. A lot. Enough that, even though I probably should, I’m embarrassed to ask my gyno about it. To quote “Mean Girls”, “It’s not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.”
The beach, the pool, and anywhere with little clothing and a high chance of me bleeding through are all places I avoid like the fucking STD-ridden cesspools that they are.
PantyProp, the company that brought us panties that you can’t bleed through, is now giving us swimsuits you can’t bleed through, either. The bottoms are designed to be worn with a tampon or menstrual cup, but won’t allow any leakage if your period is extra heavy that day. If you’re one of those girls who never graduated from pads, never fear! A pad can also be slipped discreetly into the lining.
— PantyProp (@PantyProp) March 1, 2016
While it won’t stop the bloating or constant need to be fed Taco Bell crunch wraps, it does make it so you don’t have to worry about ruining your ninety dollar bikini or attracting sharks because you’re leaking blood into the water.
Currently, they only come in two styles, a floral and a black, but if mixing and matching Target swimwear has taught us anything, it’s that black bikini bottoms are all that you really need anyway..
Image via Shutterstock