Picking out an outfit for a night out usually involves a lot of staring at your closet while thinking “I have absolutely nothing to wear” about a thousand times and at least three complete outfit changes. Recently, I went through this process and encountered an even bigger problem. The top I wanted to wear didn’t look good with a bra. So instead of throwing it back into my black hole of a closet, I decided to do something pretty crazy.
I wore the top without wearing a bra.
I let the girls go free, nipples and everything. I didn’t try to hide my boobs behind bandages or tape. And you know what? It. Felt. Great. And you know what else? It was the middle of January and cold. Yup, you know what that means. I was nipping all night long and I did not give a single fuck.
For some reason that I can’t explain, my confidence sans bra absolutely skyrocketed. I felt feminine, sexy, and powerful. I led with my nipples and strutted into a room with extra sass. My experience that night led me to a wonderful realization: it’s time to bring back nipples.
I guess technically they didn’t go anywhere. They’re still right there under our noses, but they sit caged behind the padded bras we’ve grown accustomed to wearing. Wearing a bra used to be optional, as demonstrated by Jennifer Aniston AKA Rachel Green in every “Friends” episode ever.
Even Samantha Jones from “Sex and the City” knew the magical power of nipples. One episode shows nipples as a fashion statement, which is something I can 100 percent get behind.
Why did nipples ever go out of style? Considering these two shows debuted in the ’90s, I think it’s been long enough. Everything always comes back in style, and I think it’s time for the nipple to make its triumphant return. I now dub 2016 as the year of the comeback nipple. Here’s why:
1. Bras Fucking Suck
Who here loves bras? Anyone? No one? That’s what I thought. I’m a 34A and I hate them, so I can’t imagine the kind of hatred some of my big-breasted friends feel for bras. If you want a comfortable bra, you basically have to sell a kidney in order to pay for one, and even then it’s still a cage for your boobs so it’s not that comfortable. What better way to get these demon undergarments out of our lives than by bringing back the braless life?
2. Nipples Are More Subtle Than Cleavage
I’m all about female empowerment and loving your body, but sometimes cleavage is just too much, even on a night out. Showing some nip under your shirt is a little more subtle than exposing half your breast, and it still gets the point across. Plus, you can wear nipples anywhere, whereas cleavage is usually reserved for the bars or a date event. Going to the grocery store? Throw on a t-shirt, no bra, and I guarantee you’ll still get some looks from the cute checkout boy. It also adds an heir of mystery, because you don’t have to wear a plunging neckline for a guy to notice your rack. Once he sees your nipples poking through that t-shirt, he’s going to want to see what’s underneath. Nipples are subtle, yet sexy way to say, “notice me.”
3. Nipples Are A Free Accessory
The next time you reach for a statement necklace, ditch the necklace and go with a style statement instead. Nipples add a certain spice to any outfit, and the best thing? They’re completely free and have zero maintenance. It’s so easy. Nipples are the perfect accessory for any outfit and if you don’t believe me, just go back and watch “Friends.” It’s the first thing you notice basically anytime Jennifer Aniston walks into a scene, and that’s saying something considering she’s Jennifer freakin’ Aniston.
4. Big Or Small, Nipples Are An Equal Opportunity Style Statement
I think it’s no secret, but I hate my small boobs. They’re the body part that I’m most self-conscious of, but for some reason I absolutely love the look of going braless. I’m confident, I feel sexy, and it just feels a thousand times better. My friend (who is a DD) recently went braless for one night after I assured her her boobs looked great sans bra, and she felt the exact same way: fierce, sexy, and confident. No matter what your boob size, going braless looks and feels amazing.
5. Guys Fucking Love It
I know as women we aren’t supposed to care what guy’s think, and to an extent I don’t, which is why I’m not afraid to be that girl who sends a million texts to a the guy I like before we’re even official. But when it comes to looks, I like male attention. Sure, I’d rather that attention be from a Chance Crawford or Zac Efron lookalike, but any attention at all will do. So believe me when I tell you that guys fucking love this look. Again, it’s something about the mystery of only being able to see the outline of your nipples that makes them want to see more.
If you’re hesitant to jump on this trend, I get it. It’s scary. It seems wrong to leave the house without a bra on. If you think “my boobs are too saggy to pull this off,” well let me tell you something: everyone’s boobs are saggy without a bra on. And guys won’t care that your boobs are saggy because they’ll be too busy focusing on the outline of your bare breasts to even notice a silly thing like gravity. Plus, the only way your boobs could be saggy is if they’re big, so good on you if you have that “problem.”
If the eyes are the nipples of the face, they deserve a little more attention than what we’ve been giving them lately. So the next time you consider wearing a bra, do yourself a favor and don’t. Let your nipples shine, like shiny headlights of hope. I’m still not sure how I feel about freeing the exposed nipple, but I definitely think it’s time showing nipples underneath your shirt make their big comeback..