I’ve Fallen For A Nerd, And Might I Say, WTF


Many would think that the worst type of male to be infatuated with is your standard fuckboy. He doesn’t text you back, he flirts with other girls in front of you, he genuinely doesn’t care if you exist in this world or not. And while all of these defining characteristics about fuckboys do suck big dick, I will take your argument that they are the number one worst of all time and raise you another type of crush that truly does crush you. What’s worse than falling for a fuckboy who treats you like shit? Falling for a freaking nerd. Falling for a complete and utter dork who doesn’t like you back. Put down your pitchforks, I’ve seen “13 Reasons Why,” I know we shouldn’t pick on others, but this dude is a dweeb. He knows it. He embraces it. He’s the school mascot for God’s sake. He dances around in a giant falcon suit at sporting events the rest of us are drunk at. He’s a nerd, and he doesn’t like me.

You spend a lot of time searching for that perfect someone with a perfect jawline and perfectly chiseled abs while you eat 26 pizza rolls in your bed wiping the grease stains on your shirt, but you are a princess and you deserve the world to fall at your feet, so by all means, continue. It shakes you to your innermost, shallow core when you find yourself catching all the feels for someone coming in at less that 5 foot 6 while he sings in the campus A capella group. As a matter of fact, he founded the A capella group.

At first you think, maybe this could be a nice change of pace for me. They say you find love where you least expect it? Right? He’s sweet, actually a decent person, makes you laugh. I’m tired of going to frat parties and investing in guys who won’t even take me to their formal. Tired of going to the football house and trying to have a conversation with guys who only know how to count to ten. All those guys only want one thing, and although it is the same one thing that I personally want, it would be nice to get a back scratch every now and then, and maybe even some acknowledgement in public settings. Maybe this nerd could be my husband. Maybe this is the pure love that everyone talks about in the Bible. He serenades you by playing piano and singing nerdy shit like Gavin DeGraw, but something about it is captivating, and before you know it, you’ve been sucked into his nerdmosphere faster than you can remember all the words to “I Don’t Want To Be.”

The feeling is new and exciting and great, until they drop the nuclear bomb on you they made at science club last week. They don’t like you. Your world becomes a figment of your imagination. How did you get here? Being denied? Not a first. Being denied by a nerd? I don’t know if there is a lower low. Then comes your classic case of entitled bitch denial. Umm, excuse me? How can he NOT like me. Look at him, and look at me. He’s faking it. I just have to crack him. But then you get really drunk and try to put some hot girl moves on him, and he still…doesn’t…like you. I don’t know if any love bomb could incinerate you deeper into the Earth’s crust than being romantically denied by a guy who lives to perform in musicals. And not even the Trey Bolton type of musicals.

Maybe they are intimidated, or maybe all the inner demons you face about feeling unlovable are true. You try to run from it, but you can’t escape this stupid fucking nerd. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, Gavin DeGraw put it best… no matter what I say, I’m not over you.

Image via Shutterstock

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