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J.Crew Introduces Size 000, In Case You Didn’t Feel Bad Enough

J Crew 000

I will admit that I’ve said some pretty nasty shit behind peoples’ backs, but I don’t think I could ever make people feel as badly as J.Crew is making them feel today, thanks to the new size the uber-preppy clothing line just introduced.

Wasn’t size 0 enough? Zero, a number that doesn’t even have actual mathematic value?!

HELL NAW, bring on size 000!

Size 000. For fucking serious. I had an Eggo waffle for breakfast and now I feel like a fucking whale. Just one Eggo.

According to “The Today Show,” that’s the equivalent of a size XXXS. In other words, THAT’S NOT HEALTHY UNLESS YOU’RE A SLENDER 7-YEAR-OLD.

J.Crew is coming under some fire about this, too, including comments from one blogger from Capitol Hill Style. The blogger pulled no punches against the preppy purveyor, accusing the store of vanity styling.

“I won’t support J.Crew’s decision to expand their sizing downward because it feeds into the notion that clothing size is a scarlet letter. The practical and reasonable thing to do would be to create a measurement’s guide that isn’t abhorrently dishonest, accepting that the brand now sells size 24 clothing.”

A spokesperson for J.Crew (in the press release, they say she’s a spokesWOMAN, but they’re trying to distort your opinion using gender, and Stefon is NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE) responded to the claims, saying that this decision has nothing to do with any kind of vanity styling.

“We are simply addressing the demand coming from Asia for smaller sizes than what we had carried. Our sizes typically run big and the Asia market tends to run small. To further put into perspective, these sizes add up to the smallest possible percentage of our overall sizing assortment.”

Ohhhh, so this has nothing to do with you wanting to make women smaller? You’re just reminding us that Americans are fat fucks? Thanks, J.Crew. Thanks a shitload.

“Also to note, J.Crew’s sizes run across the board to try and accommodate as many customers as possible… We run up to size 16, we carry petites and talls, and our shoe sizes run from 5-12. [It’s] all based on customer demand.”

But it’s okay to be fat, right? Thanks for justifying our lives, J.Crew.

Look, maybe I’m overreacting, but to inform this SPOKESPERSON, we’re not only a nation of fatties (their words, not mine, don’t shoot the messenger) we’re a very impressionable nation. We’ll do just about anything to reach the latest fashion trends and achieve a standard of beauty that has become so fucking unrealistic it’s mind-blowing. Gorgeous curves being replaced by skin and bone? That’s not beautiful, that’s unhealthy. Eat a damn sandwich, you skinny bitch.

But seriously, if you take away anything from this, just be happy and love the skin you’re in. Fuck size 000, and fuck J.Crew. Rock a medium or a large and be proud. You were born this way, betches.

[via Today]

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Stefon

New York's Hottest Club is wherever I am. Haters to the front, hunky Sailors to the back. Bow down betches. Follow this bitch on Twitter @StefonTSM StefonTSM@iCloud.com

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