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Kara Alongi Punks Everyone with Faux Tweet – Unconfirmed Location, Confirmed Attention Whore

Last night people throughout the Twitterverse were in an uproar because sixteen year-old Kara Alongi…is an attention whore. She tweeted about an intruder, and apparently then went missing.

But my sources tell me, the New Jersey teen really just wanted to cause a big raucous…and raucous she caused. Alongi got over 100,000 followers, thousands of retweets, the hashtag #helpfindkara trending, and 6,000 calls to 911 within the first 12 hours of her disappearance. The power of social media, huh? She’s also made a real enemy in Samuel Guskind who many have identified as the main suspect of her alleged kidnapping after twit-creeping and discovering this tweet.

And I know it may seem insensitive, she is, after all, still missing, but my issue here is that police say there were no signs of forced entry into her home. Oh, and a cabdriver said she called and he dropped her off at a train station in Rahway, NJ. And her parents told officers she’s run away before. So, what we have here, folks, is an attention whore bitch who cost the police tons of time and resources as they needed to sort through all the false tips they received and follow up to get to the bottom of everything.

Not to mention, she also crucified the remainder of poor Sam’s social life for the entirety of his high school career. If you want attention, just get drunk off of wine coolers and give a senior a hand job under the bleachers like everyone else. Sheesh.

[Source, Source]

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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