You’re creeping on Instagram, check out your notifications, check out your “following” notifications and there you see it. Your boyfriend liked a picture. A girl’s picture. And for a brief moment, you just stare at her, like…
You see she’s some random skanky hot girl in another sorority, and every feeling you ever felt exists in this moment…
And you consider sending her a threatening DM, like
But instead, the text storm begins. You whip out your phone, and hit your boyfriend immediately.
When he doesn’t immediately answer you, you keep on going. He will come back to 27 messages that all say something along the lines of…
“Sorry babe, I was at the gym.”
“Princess, don’t you think maybe you’re over-reacting a little?”
“And how can you even come at me right now when you do the same thing. I know how rowdy your sorority is. You guys love attention like that. I MET you at a mixer for fuck’s sake. Your friends are savage.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to imply. I’m just saying it didn’t mean anything. A like is just a like.”
“I’m not going to apologize when I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Okay, so no dude has ever liked one of your pictures besides me? And if they did, that means they all want to fuck you? You have like random internet creeps following you on every social media.”
“You’re avoiding the point of this argument and simultaneously looking for a compliment.”
“Well your an asshole.”
*You’re
“Oh, come on, babe. I was kidding. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
“Blood of the what? No, I’m not saying you’re nothing. Listen, woman. You are taking this out of context.”
“God dammit. You’re insane. It’s like I can’t say anything right.”
“Alright, alright. You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was wrong. She means nothing to me, and you’re my whole world.”
“What’s more than the world? You’re beautiful, and you’re smart, and you’re funny.”
“And I love you. Was that almost a smile I detected?”
“And I’m going to unfollow her on Instagram right now. And unlike that photo. And block her.”
“You get way more likes than she does anyway.”
“So are we good?”
Yeah, you’re good..
Nice Move274
Respond
Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
@VeronicaRuckh
@VeronicaRuckh
vmruckh
veronica@grandex.co
