If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “gee, I really wish I had a book for my coffee table that was jam-packed with selfies validating the self-worth of an ignorant millionaire with zero talent,” you’re in luck!
In case you haven’t seen Kim K’s Instagram lately (in which case I applaud you for not wasting your life away stalking the day-to-day trials of a woman who made millions off her vagina) the star has decided to release a coffee book full of selfies. While this news is amusing, it’s not really surprising–we all know Kim has a tendency to take a ridiculous amount of selfies. She claims to take them all “for Kanye,” but we all know they’re actually “for her inflated ego.”
The book idea came from the embarrassing Thailand spectacle earlier this year, where Kim admitted to taking upwards of 1,200 selfies. My guess is that Kim concluded people were starting to take her too seriously after the birth of uber-cute North West, so she decided to inflict a blow to her responsible mother status by letting everyone look at racy pictures of her. The book will rightfully be called “Selfish,” and it is set to release in April 2015.
1. “Your Ex and His New Girlfriend: She’s Prettier Than You”
2. “An Erotic Montage of Your Grandarents, Post-Retirement”
3. “Every Embarrassing Drunk Text You’ve Ever Sent”
4. “500 Close-Ups of James Franco’s Cornrows in ‘Spring Breakers’ ”
5. “Everything Wrong With Your Love Life” (Volumes 1-53)
The fact that Kim thinks anyone would ever want an album’s worth of pictures of her face for any reason other than to mock her is comical. But, as my hope in humanity continues to diminish, it’s safe to assume the number of people who will purchase the book will be bigger than we expect. I advise you all to save the $19.95 that the book is said to cost, and instead, invest in a bottle of wine to mourn your own sub-par status and crippling student loans.
[via celebitchy]
Image via jezebel
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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