Kimmy K’s booty has been a topic of conversation, since she robbed the signature body part from J.Lo back in 2007. It seemingly defies the laws of nature, physics, biology, fitness, and gravity. How does a woman with a waist that tiny have a butt that big? It goes far beyond “damn girl, that ass” and hovers closer to the line of “massive.” I’ve never seen a butt that big on a white girl — err, an off-white girl, if we’re getting particular. My point is, it’s very large.
I’m not delivering any new news when I tell you, her donk has begged the question: “But is it real?” Butt implants have gained more and more popularity since Hollywood decided that their anacondas don’t want none, unless you got buns, but Kim has vehemently denied rumors that hers has ever been augmented. Several years ago, she went so far as to “prove” that she was all natural, by having an X-ray done of the infamous booty, which was said to have been able to detect injections. Her butt came up all clear, and she’d provided evidence for fans and haters alike, that her rear was the real deal.
Of course, all good things come to a (rear) end. Plastic surgeon Dr. Michelle Copeland has recently come forward, explaining that an X-ray does not serve as conclusive evidence against a person having had an enhancement:
“It definitely appears that Kim had her butt augmented,” she says. “An implant has to be radio opaque to show up on an X-ray, so it’s possible she has a type of implant that would not be detected.”
A source burts Kim’s bubble butt as she tells Life and Style her secret.
“Kim had lipo on her legs and the doctor moved the fat into her butt. That’s why it didn’t show up on the X-ray.”
This was as incredibly stupid as it is unsurprising. All signs pointed to it being a phony. Nothing suggested the thing was real, barring Kim, momager Kris, and the rest of the Kardashian clan. Refuting false booty claims did nothing to make us believe the talentless star, but instead reinforced beliefs that she was a liar.
This brings me to a far more pressing issue. Why? Why do women lie about having had cosmetic surgeries. It doesn’t make any sense to me, yet it happens in Hollywood…and in real life all the time.
My sophomore year of college, four girls came back to school after winter break with nose jobs. Four. It was actually really weird, and I don’t know why, but it happened. The nose of an older girl, whom we’ll call Brittany, was by far the most different. So different, that I could barely recognize her. My pledge sisters and I, while we were supposed to be doing something more productive than going through the motions during recruitment practice, spent the majority of our time gossipping about who the stranger in the corner was. Was she an advisor? An older sister who’d been abroad last year? A girl from another chapter of our sorority, here to take notes on recruitment? Who was she? Then, it dawned on me.
“Guys, I think that’s Brittany.”
“NO!” my friends guffawed, garnering us a verbal warning, which we promptly rolled our eyes at and ignored. “But wait…like…is it? It literally can’t. But like…staahhp. I can’t even.”
Being the uninhibited girl I am, I turned to Brittany’s friend best friend, standing nearby.
“Where’s Brit?” I asked. “I haven’t seen her yet!”
“She’s right over there!” Just as we suspected, the mystery girl in the corner, naturally sitting out of practice because she couldn’t do a ton of physical activity, was Brittany.
“Oh, my God!” I blurted. “She looks so different! Did she get a nose job?”
“No! She dyed her hair.”
I stared blankly, waiting for my sister to start laughing at her ridiculous cover. She did no such thing, and went on to pretend that the fact that her bestie’s hair was a shade darker would in any world alter the overall composition of her face.
“Oh, yeah,” I said, dumbfounded. “That makes sense.”
For the next several months, I literally felt uncomfortable having conversations with Brittany, because she had a different face, and we weren’t acknowledging it. We were just carrying on as if nothing had changed. I’d creep her on Facebook and blatantly see pictures of one nose, and then another, yet everyone continued pretending that she’d made no changes to her physical appearance.
I couldn’t understand it. When you make any positive change to your appearance, it’s generally because you want people to notice. You want people to acknowledge that you look better. When you dye your hair, when you lose weight, when you get a nice tan, you want people to see that you’ve improved. Why should this be different?
Sure, it’s appealing to say you were born this way, but it’s not that appealing. Lady Gaga was “born this way,” the rest of us have to work for it…or pay for it. You weren’t born with your honey highlights, you weren’t born with a metabolism that would help you fit into a size blue dress, you weren’t born with perfect vision, with perfectly waved hair, or with straight teeth — they were imperfections, and you fixed them. Ain’t no shame in the game.
Even if you are ashamed, lying about it is going to get people talking a lot more than telling them the truth. Own it. “I paid for my nose not to look busted up, and now it doesn’t.” You’ve accomplished your goal if people notice. If they don’t, what was the point of doing it to begin with?
I say, nip, tuck, and enhance what you want — no one’s judging you. Unless you lie about it…or make a sex tape.
[via Life and Style]
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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