“Family Guy” wasn’t kidding when it mused that Lifetime network should change its slogan from “Television for Women” to “Television for Idiots.” Over the weekend, the network really proved how ridiculous and over the top bad it can be. It aired a movie called “Dead on Campus,” which featured incredibly graphic hazing rituals, including girls dressed up like dogs, complete with ears and collar, being forced to eat molten-hot brownies with their faces. And, of course, the film included the tried and true “circle areas of fat with a Sharpie” thing that every anti-Greek advocate brings up 24/7.
The movie also featured the characters calling each other “bitches” countless times, and it even features the incredibly likely premise of the sorority sisters drugging a guy and accidentally killing him, because, you know, #college.
Full disclosure, I don’t watch Lifetime and, honestly, I don’t even know what’s on that network. Could be anything for all I know. From what I can tell from its website, the channel mostly airs reruns of great shows like “Frasier” and “How I Met Your Mother,” which leads into reality shows and TV movies that could probably induce vomiting. The only thing I’ve ever liked on Lifetime is “She’s Too Young,” mainly because Marcia Gay Harden from “Flubber” is the mom of a 14-year-old virginal girl who goes to a high school where somehow everyone has syphilis, and she decides to rebel by getting syphilis, because, you know, #highschool. I mean, we all got the clap back in eleventh grade to piss off our parents, right? Oh, nobody? Okay.
Just for the record, this entire film about sorority girls was written, directed, edited, and produced by men.
Check out this incredible synopsis. Oscar Wilde it is not:
College should have been the best time of Natalie’s life, especially when she pledged Phi Delta Pi, one of the most prestigious sororities in the country. What initially feels like a welcoming sisterhood turns into a strange hazing when Natalie learns she’s required to seduce an awkward college student named Sumner to continue her pledge. When Natalie reluctantly complies by bringing Sumner to her dorm, her “sisters” play a prank that results in the drugging of Sumner and his accidental death. Natalie is accepted into the lavish world of Phi Delta Pi, but only if she keeps her mouth shut. As Sumner’s older sister starts questioning the circumstances of his accident, the pressure builds for Natalie, who is feeling increasingly manipulated by Alexis and her cohorts. She realizes Alexis has no intention of telling the truth and will cut anyone down who attempts to threaten her reputation, even if it means framing Natalie.
Check out the video here. It’s basically softcore porn. You people are animals.
[via Gawker]
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