Lindsay Lohan Exiled From Hollywood

She’s finally done it. I’m pretty sure the next story I report will be that Lindsay Lohan has OD’d and died. Just when we thought she was getting her shit together (she’s not, thank God, I love that trainwreck), she has proven to all of us that she is the lost cause of our generation.

La Lohan has been banned from Hollywood’s famed Chateau Marmont, and being banned from the Chateau is the Hollywood equivalent of being black listed from all parties at your campus’ Top Tier fraternity. It. Is. Everything. Anyone who’s anyone is seen at the Chateau. It’s super exclusive, and super glamorous, and just so necessary to anyone’s Hollywood existence.

Unfortunately, LiLo has ruined what little chance she had of revamping her career by pissing off the famous hotel. She owes over $46,000.00 in unpaid room charges, thus was asked to vacate the premises by noon on August 1st. Her outrageous and disruptive behavior, coupled with her refusal to pay the exorbitant tab, has rendered her no longer allowed on hotel grounds.

So, what exactly did Lindsay spend almost fifty grand on during her two month stay at the hotel?

According to an itemized bill, she spent $3,145.07 on the in-room mini bar alone. She bought 49 packs of cigarettes during her 47 day stay, which cost her $689.00. One would think with all of her binge drinking/cigarette smoking, she would have had no appetite, and would have almost zero room service charges. This proved untrue, because she was able to rack up a $1,992.07 bill at the hotel restaurant in the same day as she had $685.96 in room service charges.

Because she’s refusing to pay the bill, insisting that the producers from the movie she was filming at the time should cover her costs, the hotel will no longer welcome Lohan as a guest.

So what’s the lesson here? Party, go on benders, do whatever you want…as long as you can pay for it. I feel like she just became the equivalent of the GDI friend that shows up at EVERY pair party and drinks all the vodka that everyone else’s social funds paid for. NS.


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