This woman is my hero. Holly Stewart, from Kansas City, Missouri, has taken to Kickstarter, just like the rest of us internet-savvy young folks, to launch her new business: making giant penises out of quilts.
And holy shit, it got funded. Giant Quilted Penises. The answer to all our prayers.
Stewart launched a Kickstarter Campaign Kickstarter Campaign in order to fund her company, HollyPolyester, where she, well, makes penises from quilts. They also apparently emit “sequin semen,” which is just the icing on this ridiculous, dick-sized cake.
All she needed was money to print a poster for her exhibition — and guess what? She did it!
“This project has been created to fund the promotion of my exhibition and print the Invitation/Poster. My exhibition; HollyPolyester: Local Grandmother Quilts Giant Penises, is scheduled for September 4. The work is well in progress and in final stages of completion. Now we’re trying to get the word out and we need to promote the show by printing the Invitation/Poster. We have it covered except for about $250 and that’s why we’ve come to Kickstarter.”
God bless you, Holly. Keep on keeping on. I’ll take ten. Why? Never you mind.