I miss the days When Kim’s selfie book was the worst issue we had to bitch about. A London museum has unveiled a wax figure of Kim K taking a selfie, and we’re all like, “Horray…what amazing, incredible news.” The Madame Tussauds statue is featured against a rotating backdrop, so visitors can pose with her in front of numerous, pointless backdrops and locations. Oh, and it cost $230,846 to make. No big deal.

Can someone remind me why she’s famous again? Oh, that’s right, because of her vagina. I’m still trying to figure out why her crappy sex tape and shameless string of promotions warrant an insanely expensive wax replica, or millions of dollars and A-list celebrity status for that matter. The fact that she’s most well-known for doing something so superficial as constantly taking pictures of herself is really just the cherry on top of the shit cake. I’m not trying to be a bitch, I’m just saying that I honestly believe that the homeless dude who held the door open for me at 7/11 this morning deserves more recognition than this self-involved piece of celebrity garbage.

For those of you who are just irrationally annoyed by this news as I am, I have created a list of things we would rather see Kim K doing in a wax figure:

1. Having sex with Ray J.
2. Popping a bottle of champaign into a flute that is conveniently balanced on her ass.
3. Being too pregnant to fit into shoes.
4. Experiencing an internal conflict while deciding which Instagram filter to use.
5. Contouring.
6. Being the only person who has contributed nothing to the world while hanging out with Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Kanye.
7. Tailing Paris Hilton like the good ole’ days.
8. Researching butt implants on the internet.
9. Crying as Kanye cleans out her closet.
10. Bringing North to a fashion show, because apparently that’s an appropriate place for a child.
11. Promoting a product that everyone knows she doesn’t actually use.
12. Comforting a weeping Kourtney.

I definitely took it too far with that last one. My bad.

The statue will undergo several seasonal costume changes, and will eventually be joined by Kanye. Ten bucks says he dishes out an extra million to have them put a crown on his head and some extra bulge in his pants..

[via Cosmopolitan]

Image via DFree / Shutterstock.com

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.

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