Imagine my surprise when I was
hard at work online shopping to blow this Friday’s paycheck on yoga pants when I came across this giant ad on the lululemon homepage:
Since I’m clearly qualified for a CEO position with my recently acquired B.A. in English Literature, I clicked on the ad only to find the most badass job description I’ve ever read:
“You report to no one, you are the CEO (duh). You are passionate about doing chief executive officer type stuff like making decisions, having a vision and being the head boss person.”
Sarcasm and bossing people around all day? I can get used to that. BUT WAIT. It gets even better. You think casual Fridays at your 9-5 desk job are the highlight of your work week? On Friday afternoons at lululemon, “You hit up wheatgrass and tequila shots (it’s called work/life balance).” No more putting in earbuds at your desk to dissuade Susie from accounting from telling you about her cats either. You’ll actually enjoy office interactions as lululemon’s head honcho when “You break all the rules like getting your OM-on (loudly) whenever the urge arises.” You’ll also be the center of attention at work parties, since “Your go-to party trick is your dead-on impression of the yogi in ‘Sh*T Yogis Say.'” This is all mandatory to be considered for the position. Dress code isn’t listed, but if it’s anything other than yoga pants and a sports bra, I will be wildly disappointed.
All these years I assumed all that life after college held in store for me was business suits, 9-5 hours, and a shit-ton of paperwork, but it looks like I was wrong. If this is what post-grad job hunting looks like, sign me up. For those of us who spent our college days hitting the elliptical instead of the books, drinking instead of working, and achieving perfect attendance in yoga instead of class, there’s finally hope. I always knew my “unfortunate lifestyle choices” (as my mother calls them) would pay off someday, and I was right. Now if you’ll excuse me, this future head of lululemon has some Sanskrit to practice and some soy lattes to drink. Namaste.
Image via lululemon