Men are good for two things, and both can easily be held in your hand. I’m talking about his dick, and his wallet, people. There was a women’s march this weekend, but thankfully, it’s still okay to objectify men, because when I see them, all I see is dollar signs.
Relax, I’m just kidding, men are good for three things. They’re also useful when you need them to carry things. Take this hero and her boyfriend whom she brought to the mall.
Wow. Talk about relationship goals. He is trailing her like a puppy, carrying so many shopping bags that all you can see are his little feet. It’s like a cartoon. This right here, my friends, is a man with a small dick, and a big wallet. And I am here for it.
Imagine your man being so obsessed with you, that he walks around the mall, essentially blind and invisible, to make you happy. That’s true love.
Image via Shutterstock
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]
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