It’s our biggest nightmare. It’s the reason we wake up at least ten minutes before our boyfriend/FBW/random sex partner. It’s the one step most of us prolong taking in a relationship out of fear.
Letting our guy see us without makeup.
Still, despite putting it off, it inevitably happens. We sleep at his place and forget that we didn’t pack makeup until after we wash our faces. We blacked out and threw up on ourselves and had to be hosed off like an animal. Or we secure a ring, have a wedding, and lock him down forever. And everyone knows that once he’s “yours,” it’s safe. Then you can finally stop contouring your face at 7 a.m. and can sleep in sweatpants instead of a girdle. You can let your inner beauty shine (along with your oily face because LOL at powdering it anymore), and add more days in between each shave. It was the finish line to our never ending quest for beauty. Or so we thought.
For one woman, however, saying “I do” wasn’t enough to prove her safety. According to the Mirror, a man is actually suing his wife for the “deep distress” she caused when he saw her without makeup for the first time.
The newspapers in Algeria (where this all went down) got into a little more absurd detail. From Emrates247:
“The groom told the judge that he could not recognize his wife after she washed the make-up off her face.
“He said he was deceived by her as she used to fill up her face with make up before their marriage,” the papers said, quoting a court source.
“He said she looked very beautiful and attractive before marriage, but when he woke up in the morning and found that she had washed the make-up off her face, he was frightened as he thought she was a thief.
Ugh. I’m so tired of women trying to trick guys by putting eyeliner on. Like, could we be any more manipulative? The unnamed groom is suing his wife for $20,000 due to his “psychological suffering.” Which is a relief. Ladies can’t get away with being themselves! Natural beauty? Not on his watch! I think the biggest surprise, however, is how she managed to get by without him ever seeing her makeup-less face before they got married.
I feel like the next realistic move in the relationship is for her to sue him back for his manipulative behavior. You know, like the flowers he gave her at the start of their relationship but stopped after she put out, the way he promised that he would always love her like five minutes before this happened, and for not going down on her nearly enough (I can’t say for sure if this was the case in their relationship, but he sounds like a total boner, so I assume I’m pretty accurate in my description). This way they can both be broke and live miserably-ever-after. Or she can just throw away her lipstick and dump his ass. Either works.
Oh, to be in love..
[via Emrates247, Mirror]
Image via Youtube / Comedy Central
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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