Don’t you hate it when you really want a Big Mac, but you just got stabbed and have this pesky knife sticking out of your back? Yeah, me too.
Andrew Hardy, 53, walked into a McDonald’s yesterday, casually chatting on his cell with a pal. He appeared surprisingly calm, considering his shirt was drenched in blood and he had a literal knife in his back.
A friend offered to pull out the knife, but others stopped him, worried the knife might have hit an artery. A witness told local news that those working in the McDonald’s “put down their Egg McMuffins to keep Hardy steady on his feet until medics could arrive.” That’s some superb customer service right there. The idea was to keep him standing up while he waited for an ambulance, to make sure he didn’t fall backwards on the knife and further injure himself.
Hardy was apparently stabbed earlier that day while trying to break up a fight. I can’t be sure why his first instinct after being knifed by a stranger was to stumble to the nearest McDonald’s, but I’m guessing it has to do with their chicken nuggets. That shit is like crack.
My favorite part of the situation was when the police released this incredibly detailed description of the attacker at large: “The man who stabbed Hardy was wearing a white shirt.” Oh, that sure narrows it down. I feel safe knowing that the culprit will surely be located, as his description is irregular and not at all easily changed by, I don’t know, changing his fucking shirt.
Hardy’s going to be fine, and says he is “blessed to be alive.” He is a true inspiration to us all, and teaches us that no matter how close to death you are, chowing down on some McD’s is always a valid option.
[via New York Post]
Image via New York Post