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Meet The Craziest Woman In The World

Every now and then, a story comes along that makes me feel better about my own life. This is one of them. A woman in Alexandria, Virginia took crazy to a whole new level and left sorority girls across the country feeling just a little less batshit. For that, we thank her.

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Courtney (her last name is unknown) met a man named Ben (whose last name also remains a mystery) on December 23, at The Light Horse Bar in Old Town, Alexandria. The two apparently hit it off, and despite the fact that they didn’t exchange last names or tag each other in a tweet about this magical night destined to be told via a Romantic Comedy starring Kate Hudson and Bradley Cooper, they did, however, spend hours discussing “religion, faith, morality, culture, and how do you define culture and a society” or at least that’s what my main bitch, Courtney, says happened. After hours and hours of soaking in each other’s awesome-ness, Courtney said she chickened out and left the bar without exchanging numbers with Mystery Ben. So, she did what any logical (read: insane) girl would do. She printed out flyers about him and posted them all over the town. Seriously, ladies, are you feeling better about your own lives right now?

I’ve had lots of Qs-I met Ben and we talked for a few hours & really hit it off. I chickened out and left w/o getting his # or giving mine
— Courtney (@OldTownCourtney) January 1, 2014

Not only did Courtney (aka the new Queen of Crazy) print out flyers about poor, sweet, needs-to-go-into-Witness-Protection Ben, she tweeted about him incessantly and even tried to get #FindBen trending. LOL. Again, and I thought I was crazy.

I’ve found a couple numbers that could be him from the google searches. I’ll be calling today.#FindBen
— Courtney (@OldTownCourtney) January 1, 2014

On New Year’s Day, Courtney tweeted that she found Ben, but “to respect Ben’s privacy…won’t be taking any more interviews.” As it stands, we don’t know much more about the fate of these two, other than that literally every person in the country is internally screaming: “Run, Ben, run!” But really, bitches be crazy. #StopCourtney

[via Yahoo News]

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Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: catie@grandex.co

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