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Michael Sam’s Boyfriend Is Hotter Than Yours

You might’ve seen Missouri Tiger Michael Sam’s reaction to getting the news of being drafted to the NFL this past Saturday. In an adorable public (very public…like, national television public) display of affection, he emotionally embraced his boyfriend, Vito Cammisano. Shortly after discovering he would be a member of the St. Louis Rams, Sam smashed a piece of cake in Vito’s face and kissed him, causing me to weep tears of joy for the impossibly cute couple (as well as tears of despair of my own nonexistent relationship).

Upon further inspection, I quickly discovered that Sam’s boyfriend, also a Mizzou athlete, is nothing short of a chiseled bronze man-god who was most likely sent to earth to mock straight women everywhere. At first, I thought that I was just biased, since I, too, am a Mizzou tiger, but after feeling the unexpectedly strong urge to grate cheese on Vito’s seemingly sculpted abs, I realized he’s actually just that gorgeous. I invite all of you to look at these pictures of the power couple, and then go out and buy a pint of ice cream and a tabby cat to mourn every sub-par relationship you’ve ever had.

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.

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