Yes, you read that correctly. Microsoft partnered with the University of Rochester and University of Southampton UK to develop a way to notify women when they are most likely to eat high-calorie foods. After interviewing women, a majority of them stated that knowing their triggers for binge eating, like being an emotional wreck, helped them stop binge eating.
Microsoft is currently working on a “smart bra” with sensors tracking women’s heart rates and electrodermal activity. Those sensors will pick up when the woman is feeling stressed, bored, tired, or discouraged and send a message to her smart phone warning her of her mood, and a reminder that a doughnut won’t solve her problems. Think back to mood rings, but instead of your bra turning blue when you’re sad, it sends you a text saying “Put down the chocolate cake, you depressed fuck!”
You might be asking yourself, “Why a bra? Nobody even likes bras!” Don’t worry, I said the exact same thing. And wouldn’t you know it, those smart guys over at Microsoft had an answer.
“First, we needed a form factor that would be comfortable when worn for long durations,” said scientists in a research paper published online. “The bra form factor was ideal because it allowed us to collect (electrocardiogram data) near the heart.”
Clearly, the researchers are male, because I have yet to meet a woman who says a bra is “comfortable when worn for long durations,” but I guess the rest of their reasoning does make sense.
As cool as this is, the “smart bra” still needs more work. The sensors, as of now, need to be recharged every three to four hours, and that just is not convenient for anyone. They also are holding off until they can create a male-version of the smart bra, so you fellas won’t be feeling all left out.
“We will continue to explore how to build a robust, real-world system that stands up to everyday challenges with regards to battery life, comfortability, and being suitable for both men and women”
I hope Microsoft really embraces the whole mood-ring idea and has the bra change colors with your mood. I can imagine it now, the bra is pink when you’re happy or content, black if you are not in a mood to be fucked with, cheetah when you’re feeling like getting it in. Also, can they program it to tell me when I’ve gone from funny, on-top-of-my-game drunk to giggling-uncontrollably-at-a-lime-wedge drunk? That’s a bra I’d buy.
Microsoft, call me I’ve got some ideas for you.