It starts off like any ol’ Friday night.
Then you get a message from your childhood bestie: “Everyone’s going to the bar tonight!”
You immediately start getting ready.
Except you hate everything you own.
Seriously, you have nothing to wear and you need to dress to impress.
Finally, you find the perfect outfit.
You roll into the bar like you own the place.
You see your bestie…
And the rest of your high school.
You didn’t realize she meant EVERYONE.
Whatever, time to drink.
And dance.
And drink and dance.
Until you feel someone get a little touchy.
And you make a beeline to the bathroom.
Thank God your friend is there to give you a pep talk.
And to help you fix your makeup.
But you refuse to listen when she says you can’t make out with Jason.
She leads you over to a group of people who you kind of knew in high school.
After Tracy McKnitton talks about her ER visit the first week of classes…
And Allie Greenwalter talks about her slam poetry group…
Kerri Johnson brings up her community college classes and you lose it.
But suddenly, it doesn’t matter–you spot Jason, the cutie who graduated three years ahead of you.
Your friend tries to stop you, but you have none of it.
Your drunk self tries to flirt with him.
But it’s not quite working out.
Your friend swoops in.
She tries to get you away from him.
But you’re trying to persuade her that you and Jason are meant to be.
When you’ve finally had it with her…
She distracts you with shots.
Before you know it, you’re done.
The next morning, your friend tells you that you got into a fight with your other friend.
That escalated really quickly.
So you stood on top of the bar to embarrass her.
And then fell off.
You assaulted the pizza guy when you got to your friend’s place.
What’s left to say other than:
Nice Move617
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Hakuna Moscato
Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.
@HakunaMoscato
