A lot of people don’t know this about me — it’s not a secret, it’s just not something you’d guess — but my number one favorite celebrity in all the world is Mindy Kaling. You’d think it would be a Kardashian (Khloé, but who’s counting?), but as much as I love glam and drama, I love comedy more. You might think that would make my idol comedy queen Amy Schumer, but while I do love A-Schu, she’s just not ~me~ enough.
Mindy is my everything. Her sense of humor is exactly my sense of humor to a T and her character on the greatest comedy of our generation The Mindy Project is exactly me, minus the baby, the doctorate, and hoards of boyfriends. I went to a Texas Teen Book Festival, hungover at 7am, when I am neither a Texan, nor a teen, because she would be there. I didn’t even get to meet her, but I cried when she walked into the auditorium, because I was honestly overwhelmed by her presence.
Simply put, Mindy Kaling is my Beyoncé. Receipts:
Now, this week, I’ve gotten the best celebrity news of my entire life (aside from Kim exposing Taylor). Mindy Kaling is pregnant. This comes just a month after Beyoncé gave birth to her twins, and I have to say: Sir and Rumi who? I’m ready for the Beyhive, I truly am, but every inch of me believes that Mindy’s pregnancy is more iconic than Beyoncé’s. Do not even @ me, because I’m not interested.
It’s no secret that Mindy, a powerful minority woman trailblazing in her field, is interested in motherhood. The whole “I’m old, single, and childless” trope is practically a cornerstone of her “character” Kelly Kapoor (who she wrote) and her “character” Mindy Lahiri (who she also wrote and gave her name). There is truth in comedy which is generally what makes it so funny. Mindy’s always put her career first, but she has wanted this for a long time. And something about a woman who’s sort of openly (under the guise of jest) pined for motherhood getting pregnant just feels so rewarding for everyone involved. When anyone, like, say, Beyoncé who already had a kid gets pregnant, it’s exciting, but this is just so much better.
The announcement of her pregnancy was, in truth, pretty cavalier. Mindy herself is pretty extra — not as openly extra as someone who would maybe do a semi-nude pregnancy shoot wearing a veil in front of a wall of roses — but she’s extra. She likes attention. And she likes to make fun of herself for liking attention. The fact that her pregnancy is confirmed, and she’s just kind of chilling and letting her belly grow without making a spectacle of herself makes me want to talk about it even more, which as everyone knows is how you win at pregnancy, and at life.
The most un-Mindy thing about this whole thing, of course, is that we don’t know who the father is, and not a single person is passing judgment, which is UNDOUBTEDLY more iconic than getting pregnant by your husband. It makes me feel good about her sex life — that homegirl is single but she’s still being serviced on the reg, because she is a queen, and she deserves it. Rumors are swirling, and everyone of course wants it to be BJ Novak so that we can finally get the fairytale ending to the BJ and Mindy saga. Personally, I’m hoping that it’s Michael Fassbender, who I’m not sure has ever been connected to Mindy, but she does have an open admiration for his penis. The Daddy reveal on this will be huge. The only thing huger will be if we never get the Daddy reveal (but please don’t do that, Min. I live for celeb gossip. You know how frustrating it is when they hold out on us like this. Don’t do it).
Perhaps the most legendary part of the whole thing, though? Mindy basically wrote this storyline for herself — her character got pregnant before she was married, so Mindy predicted her own future, so obviously she has taken Bey’s place in the Illuminati. Iconic..
Image via Shutterstock
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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