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Montana State Representative Trying To Outlaw Yoga Pants Because He Doesn’t Have A Soul

Montana State Representative Trying To Outlaw Yoga Pants Because He Doesn't Have A Soul

Like many children of the ‘90s, I grew up wearing leggings. As a small child, the constriction of jeans was uncomfortable, and I preferred the comfort of a pair of 90 percent cotton, 10 percent spandex pants that were essentially loungewear to be worn in public. I had leggings in every color, and several pairs with stirrups, which I still don’t quite understand. In the late ‘90s/early 2000s, things took a turn for the worse. Leggings were unequivocally out of style. Gone were the days where we could freely roam the streets with pants that allowed us to do high kicks whenever we pleased. Our ankles needed breathing room, our lower backs needed breathing room, and our hips required absolutely no breathing room. So we traded in our precious leggings for low-rise flare jeans, and pretended we didn’t notice when the thongs we were becoming newly accustomed to rode up to cover our ass cracks when our pants could not. It was a dark time. I shudder at the memory.

In 2006, leggings started to make a comeback. Because even our hideous low-rise jeans weren’t that form-fitting, we felt a little exposed in yoga pants at first. We endured an awful transition period during which leggings could only be worn underneath denim skirts and weird shirt-dress hybrids. Again, it’s not a moment in fashion history we’re proud of, but it was a necessary step to get us where we are today.

Now, we can finally wear our leggings proudly — as pants. We wear them to the gym with a T-shirt. We wear them to class with a sweater. We wear them to chapter. We wear them to work. We wear them to run errands. We wear them all the damn time, and feel absolutely no shame when our slightly baggy shirt just kind of perfectly rests upon our butts making our pants the perfect aphrodisiac for men, but like, we’re not even trying. They’re the perfect pants, and this time, folks, I think they’re here to stay.

But not if Montana state Representative David Moore has anything to say about it.

After witnessing a “Bare What You Dare” bike race, in which cyclists were encouraged to remove as much clothing as possible, Moore felt that Montana needed to crack down on its indecent exposure laws.

The proposal would expand indecent exposure law to include any nipple exposure, including men’s, and any garment that “gives the appearance or simulates” a person’s buttocks, genitals, pelvic area or female nipple.

The Republican from Missoula said tight-fitting beige clothing could be considered indecent exposure under his proposal.

“Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway,” Moore said after the hearing.

Yoga pants should be illegal? YOGA PANTS. There are plenty of things out there that should be illegal. Guys pushing your head down for a blow job should be illegal. Your mom continuing to talk for 10 minutes after you’ve said “Okay, love you. Bye” should be illegal. 8am classes should be illegal. But yoga pants? They are one of the true, good, pure, happiness-inducing phenomena in this cruel world.

Not on my watch, David Moore. The good people of Montana deserve better.

[via The Atlantic]

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]

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