We love our boyfriends. Our current boyfriends. Our imaginary boyfriends. Our ex-boyfriends (JK. Sort of). And while we love them and think they’re great and can’t wait to marry them and get “couple fat” and blah blah blah, there’s one thing standing in the way. Not the fact that he hasn’t proposed (or has yet to present himself in our lives) or that your dream Pinterest wedding board will be way, wayyyy over budget. No, what’s standing in the way is, of course, the bachelor party. His bachelor party.
Sure we trust him in theory. Considering our FBI level stalking skills and constantly knowing where he is, the chances of him pulling a fast one from under our noses is absurd. But the bachelor party is unchartered territory. While visions of lifelong commitment, sex with only you forever, and other hot girls who want him dancing in his head — there’s this teeny tiny fear that he might slip. And by “he” I mean his penis.
But how often do people cheat? And not just the guys, but the girls too? The people of Reddit spoke out about all of the times people cheated while on their stag parties or hen nights, and it’s like you can just feel your trust issues growing.
I threw a bachelor party for one of my buddies just a few months back. He ended up hooking up with some chick from a bar in our hotel room. I closed down the bar and still had to wait about a half hour outside of the room until they were finished.
He says him and his wife have an open relationship, but he also asked me not to say anything to anyone. Apparently a don’t ask don’t tell kind of situation. Guess we’ll see how that goes. About two years ago I met up with my ex who was having her bachelorette party. She got pretty hammered and asked me to have a threesome with her and some random guy. I declined and they left together. She’s been happily married since (according to FB).
So 2/2 for cheating at bachelor/bachelorette parties. I’m kind of terrified to get married. The weird thing is that I don’t really hang out with a bad crowd or anything. My buddy is a big name head chef and my ex did a lot of humanitarian and charity work, basically dedicated her life to helping the poor.
Oh. So both parties the person getting married cheated? It’s fine, it’s fine *starts hyperventilating in a bag.*
I had a weird one where I was the only straight guy invited to a hens night. The bride to be ended up sucking off one of her VERY gay male friends in front of the hole party. Awkward as all fuck.
Yes, because the #1 thing I want to do at my bachelorette party is, of course, to suck some penis.
I had to count this up but in my experience (7 bach parties) 2 of them banged.
Just about the least comforting statistic out there.
My ex-husband cheated on me at his bachelor party the night before our (moderately expensive) wedding. I didn’t know it at the time, but he called me after, completely drunk on tequila, saying he wasn’t sure he wanted to get married, realized he wanted to have more fun and freedom, etc. etc. Of course I was pissed. As I laid in bed with my best friend that night (all my girlfriends stayed together in one house), she admitted that he had hit on her a couple of years earlier. I thought of calling off the wedding, but was worried about the money spent, being judged, embarrassing my family.
The next morning he called, begging for my forgiveness, saying he wanted nothing more in life but to marry me. So we went forward. He showed up at our wedding with a hickey, but several people worked to cover it up. I discovered it at the end of our reception. But we were married, I was exhausted and didn’t want to make a scene.
He cheated on me 2 additional times in our marriage. Both times he acted as if I were totally crazy for suspecting it. Both times I finally approached the other girl (both times were outlying friends) and they were the one to tell me the truth.
The last time was devastating. I remember being curled up on the floor, sobbing, crying and wondering what was wrong with me. And then… something clicked. It is as if my inner Ms. stepped out and stood up. I became angry. Resolute. I calmed down, packed my shit and walked out. We were friendly for the most part, only because I no longer gave a shit about him. I realized it was not about me, that I was above it, c’est la fucking vie.
So if he cheats at his bachelor party, dump him before you have to divorce him. Note taken.
I heard about a guy who banged a stripper with a strap-on in front of everyone. Apparently the fiancé was pissed but they still got married.
Ah yes, the ole strap-on loophole. Nothing like some casual, pre-wedding pegging to get you in the mood for matrimony.
I’m always a plus one for my best friend for weddings. He asked me to go with him to one last year so I did. While at the reception, a couple that was seated at our table were not being very social and kept looking down at their phones. My best friend brought up the subject of the bachelor party. The couple looked up at him terrified and the guy said, “What do you know?”
After asking them what was going on and why they would react like that, it turned out the groom and his brother took a stripper back to their hotel room and took turns with her. Somehow she got both of their phone numbers and the couple that was seated with us were not actually texting on their phones, but on the phones of the groom and his brother, trying to get this girl to leave them alone.
They are still married and I don’t know if anyone else ever found out.
They took the, “keeping it in the family” thing to a whole different level.
I know of a friend of a friend who’s having her bachelorette party this weekend and has basically hired a bunch of male strippers/prostitutes with the full intention of sucking a lot of cocks.
It is a marriage for money more than love though so I guess this kind of thing isn’t overly surprising.
Why is this a thing? You’re supposed to eat penis cake not actual penis.
I knew a girl who at her own fucking wedding cheated on her husband. Her and her “gay best friend” who turns out was not gay were getting it on in the dressing room when she was putting “on” her dress. One of the groomsmen walked in and saw it happening…She had no idea he saw. He went right to my friend and told him. Had the picture on his phone (shes got nice tits honestly) He stood her up at the alter.
She freaked out, her whole family freaked out and my man says “the sex sucked. Sorry.” and walked off into the sunset.
He grew balls that day and never let a woman run his life again.
Sure, it’s horrible, but let’s talk about that exit.
A friend of mine ended up banging a chick that was on her bachelorette party. Just at a bar having a few drinks and her and her friends come in. Wouldn’t leave my friend alone so he was like “fuck it” and ended up banging her in the car park and then back at her house too (Husband-to-be was away). I have no idea if she is still married….
Welp. Guess ladies aren’t completely innocent here.
An ex-boyfriend of mine was the best man in his brother’s wedding. The night of the bachelor party he was MIA and the entire next day as well. Two weeks later I ran into a friend of his who spilled the beans that not only had my boyfriend (at the time) boned a stripper, but his brother the groom did as well. No idea if they are still married. We broke up before I found out so that worked out pretty good for me.
Also, a friend of mine hooked up with a random bachelor in Vegas. To be fair, he didn’t say anything until after they had hooked up. But they had weird sex all night and in the morning, he was like soooo…by the way I’m getting married next week. He was a rando so no idea what happened after that. I think my friend felt guilty for a while.
Feeling less and less great about being a “cool” girlfriend who “totally doesn’t care if you go to a strip club.” Can’t they just like, go to a musical instead?
This wasn’t me, but I was staying at a hostel in Edinburgh one summer, and when I was waiting for a bus at around 8 a.m., two girls dressed as Snow White came out. Both were obviously doing a huge walk of shame (the hostel was a good 15-minute ride from the center of Edinburgh), and one was obviously distraught.
I got to talking to the Snow White who wasn’t upset, and she said that the distraught one was on her bachelorette party weekend, and had cheated on her fiance. The part that always sticks with me is that the bachelorette had asked her what she should do, and she had told the bachelorette to “act as if nothing happened and get on with her life.” I’ll never know what happened to those two slutty Snow Whites, or if that one ever told her fiance she cheated on him.
As one commentator stated, “in a way, this story is a parable that asks us to consider, ‘Which Snow White are you?'”
Buddy of mine got head from a hooker in Vegas the weekend before. Then a local stripper the night before. Didn’t fuck either. Gotta admire morals.
Yeah. Nothing like a good set of morals, you know? And now, in case all hope in humanity is lost, I give you this:
This summer will be our third year anniversary. Our wedding was kinda thrown together last minute, and one of my best friends at the time planned the bachelor party. Started at Hooters, followed by a strip club, and the ending the night partying with the guys at a hotel.
I had been to a strip club once before when I was 19. I faked a Russian accent and snuck my way into this place in Hawaii. It was small, dingy, and kinda freaky. My bachelor’s party would be the only other time I’ve been to a strip club, so I was excited.
It’s a really nice place, and pretty expensive. I’ve got to give it to my bud for setting that up. Anyways, we get in there and I’m wearing my stupid “GAME OVER” t-shirt with a silhouette of a man and woman getting married over my polo shirt, and my friends all start freaking out at the girls. We grab a table, order drinks, and start to enjoy the various shows.
It was at that moment, where my friends were viciously stuffing one dollar bills down this girls g string, that I realized I didn’t really want to be here. I wanted to see my soon to be wife. I ordered a bunch of drinks and was kept entertained by my friends drooling over the girls. I had a good time because they were having a good time. I’m not going to sit here and pretend I didn’t see any really nice bodies or anything, but I just kept thinking that I’d rather be with my wife.
So, yeah. That’s my bachelor party story. Her night? A few of my wife’s friends were not quite 21 yet so they went to see “Magic Mike” and then got hammered at the bridesmaid’s house.
See? There’s still hope. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a boyfriend I need to stalk on social media and a male chasity belt to order from Amazon..
[via Reddit]
Image via Youtube
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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