Morons Believe Beyonce Is Part Of The Illuminati

I was just informed that the Beyonce concert last night was actually the Super Bowl. I couldn’t really tell, because as far as I was concerned, the entire night focused around baby Clydesdale horses, Beyonce, and her backup singers (who, allegedly, were part of this group called Destiny’s Child). After Beyonce brought the house down with her amazing performance, the lights went out, signaling to concert goers the show was over and it was time to move along. Whatever.

During her performance, Queen Beyowolf flashed the Roc-A-Fella Records hand gesture, a hand symbol she has been flashing for years to support her husband, Jay-Z, and his record label. The hand sign, which is not gang-affiliated, as my ultra conservative grandmother speculated, is simply a symbol of her affiliation with the music mogul’s company.

For some reason, Illuminati conspirators worldwide are convinced Beyonce is a member of the super secret organization, which is supposedly responsible for all major world events.

I’m willing to bet the Illuminati doesn’t exist, but that’s neither here nor there. If Beyonce really were a part of the SUPER SECRET organization, why would she try to showcase her involvement on national television, on the most-watched show of the entire year? That’s like someone updating their Facebook status with a step-by-step reenactment of initiation ritual. It might even be more serious than that.

Illuminati conspirators are their own breed of crazy, and trust me, I know crazy. There have been a million different “signs’ of Illuminati involvement from every Super Bowl, as well as pretty much any other important cultural event. I’d compare these conspirators to the fat girl who decides to take any text sent she receives from a guy as a sign that he’s interested. While that fat girl sits by her phone waiting to dissect the situation when any person with a penis “likes” one of her Facebook statuses, Illuminati conspirators spend hours every day turning normal daily occurrences into signs of the secret society. When they’re not busy reorganizing their Star Trek figurines, they troll places like the supermarket in hopes of finding triangular sale displays to upload to some semi-secret Illuminati fan page.

Either way, people are totally idiotic. What bothers me the most about this allegation is that someone was more focused on finding non-existent symbols of a subversive group than enjoying Queen Bee’s absolutely epic performance. The magnitude of this realization breaks my heart. Instead of staring at their TV in awe of Beyonce as she sang in a Rubin Singer leotard made of python and iguana, some moron was taking screen shots of every second of her historical performance and finding ways to sketch a triangle onto her stage.

[via Yahoo]

Image via SoftPedia


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