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New App Teaches Men How To Perform Oral Sex

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There are a lot of jokes that could be made at this moment, but I don’t particularly think that it’s in good taste to poke fun at the hand that feeds you, or, you know, gets you off. Ha. See what I did there?

You see, while men who willingly go downtown are noble little soldiers who quite literally dive head first into battle, they’re sort of similar to those annoying Jehovah’s Witnesses who harass you on the quad. Just because they want you to see God, doesn’t mean that it’ll happen. We appreciate the effort, gentlemen, we really, really do. But effort alone does not an orgasm make. Sometimes — oftentimes, actually — skill is necessary. Enter: Lick This, the new app that teaches men how to properly perform cunnilingus.

Yes. You read that right.

The “app” is actually a website, lickthisapp.com that you visit on your smartphone, which, through a series of exercises, teaches men (and women) how to properly get a lady off. Currently, there are three learning activities available: flicking a light switch, volleying a beachball, and turning a crank. But how, one might ask, does one learn how to go down on a girl simply by playing a game on their phone? Well. You do it with your tongue. That’s how.

Again, yes. You read that right.

Ladies, send this link to your man, stat. And as The Black Eyed Peas would say, “tonight’s gonna be a good, good night.” Enjoy.

[via Elite Daily]

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Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email: catie@grandex.co

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