Congrats! You did it. You picked out your outfits. Survived the small talk. Powered through the long days, the hot weather, and the high heels. You cried and laughed, made bonds and had awkward conversations. After a week of never-ending questions and awkwardly smiling while girls sang to you, you did it. You got a bid. You ran home. And you’re finally on your way to becoming a Greek woman. And now you get to relax and enjoy all of the benefits of being a new member (hello, presents). But before you get too comfortable, know that being in a sorority means you’re being held to a little bit higher standard than before. And if you stumble, your standards chair is there to help you get back on track, after an uncomfortable meeting, of course.
So if you want to avoid pissing your exec board off and staying in their good graces, here’s exactly what will get you called to standards. Follow these rules and one day you might be in a power position, telling new girls not to dance on elevated surfaces and commenting on Instagram posts that are a little too scandalous for your chapter’s liking.
1. Pictures With Alcohol Or Wristbands
I know it’s weird. I know you think “I’m Greek! I’m supposed to show people how much I party” because of society or whatever. But you’re going to learn real fast that that’s all bullshit. One of the easiest, fastest, and most common ways you’ll get sent to standards is by letting people on your social media know just how much you party. Wristbands are a “no” for social media, and alcohol is a double “no.” Welcome to the world of splicing cats over beer bottles and Facetuning your wrists. It’s like a pre-initiation initiation.
2. Any Signs Of Weed In Any Social Media
When it comes to weed, it’s fine if you smoke it (I mean morally/in college, not necessarily legally). It’s fine if you smoke it with sisters. It’s fine if you smoke it with exec members. But by God, if you so much as think about Snapchatting you lighting up or Instagramming yourself blowing weed into the camera, you’re going to get a standards meeting faster than you can puff-puff-pass. And also, don’t post those pictures on social media. Not just because you’ll get in trouble, but because they’re lame AF. You’re better than that.
3. DFMO
Odds are you’re not going to get through college without the occasional “dance floor makeout.” Hell, I’d be sad if you never had one. But the key here is to know who else is at the bar. If there are some tattle-tale sisters around or some older girls in the area, maybe try to keep your tongue in your mouth until you get to someplace more private. And if you fuck up and get caught and called to standards just know that every single girl there has done exactly what you’ve done. Next time, just be more discrete, okay?
4. DFMO With Your Pledge Sister
College is the time to experiment. If that means kissing girls, more power to you. If it means kissing your sisters, good for you for making it convenient. Unfortunately, the same rules apply from general DFMOs. Drunkenly swapping spit in the center of a dance floor doesn’t exactly scream “I’m a part of a sophisticated sisterhood that has high values for me.” Doing it with another sister makes it even less so. Do yourself a favor and wait until you get home (or at least to the Uber) to start getting hot and heavy.
5. Dumb Drunken Snapchats
Unfortunately, this is something you have less control over than you think. You’re at a bar. You’re five vodka sodas deep. You’re feeling like a damn celebrity. You want the world to know just how much fun you’re having. So you snap yourself taking a shot. And another. And another. You snap your DFMO. And your DFMO with your pledge sister. Dancing on elevated surfaces (also a big no-no, just FYI)? That shit is on your story. It’s not until you wake up and rewatch it all that you’ll realize you probably shouldn’t have put some of that on there. But by then you’ll already have an email from standards in your inbox. Save the story, delete it, and then do better next time. And by “do better” I mean “don’t get caught.”
6. Bringing Boys In The House Past Hours
Funny how sororities get bad raps when we actually have pretty strict rules. And one of the rules? Boys have to be out of the house by a certain time. Sometimes it’s 10 p.m., sometimes it’s midnight. But whatever it is, you better make sure your guy is long gone before the house mom does her rounds.
7. Bringing Boys In The House Past The Imaginary Line
In every house, there’s a line. Maybe it’s after the guest bathrooms, down the hallway that leads to the bedrooms, or the entire upstairs. Whatever it is, it’s the separation between where boys are allowed to be and where they most certainly are not allowed to be. Dare to bring a guy past the imaginary line and risk getting sent to standards and dealing with dirty looks from the house mom until you graduate. Not that I know from experience or anything.
8. Missing Events That You’re Really Not Supposed To Miss
With great benefits of being in a sorority comes shitty responsibilities. These include chapter meetings, philanthropy events, and things like study and service hours. While yes, these looks great on resumes and for networking, sometimes when you’re hungover showing up to a floor hockey game is the *last* thing you want to do. Sadly getting a bid also means getting to be a part of something “bigger than yourself.” Like sisterhood socials. And reading to elementary school kids the morning after your formal. If you don’t have an excuse and you don’t show up to a mandatory event, expect to get send to standards if you’re lucky, or get some nice fines if you’re not.
9. Shit-Talking Your Sorority
It doesn’t matter if you hate your president, if your big is a slut, and that girl in your pledge class is a bitch. Running around saying shitty things about your chapter is an easy, and awkward way to score a standards meeting. Not only are you making your chapter look bad, but you’re making yourself look bad. I’m not saying don’t speak up if there’s some real shit going down. By all means talk to Panhellenic or the Office of Student Involvement. But if you’re just being catty you’re guaranteed to step on some toes and tarnish your own reputation.
10. Hooking Up With An Exec Member’s “Guy”
So, this isn’t exactly “fair.” Maybe you didn’t know the guy was spoken for. Or maybe you did and you’re a stone cold bitch. Either way, if you hook up with an exec member’s current boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, sort-of-boyfriend, or imaginary boyfriend, you’re fair game for getting sent to standards and feeling awkward around her forever. She’s your sister. But that doesn’t mean she has to like you. Keep your lady balls in your pants until you know if a guy is seeing anyone. That’s not just a sorority thing. That’s a life thing.
11. Not Using “Discretion”
If you learn anything in a sorority, it’s this. The key to it all. The big secret. “Discretion.” You’re in college. You’re supposed to have fun and experiment and smoke a little weed if you want and kiss some girls if you want and hook up with strangers if you want and dance on tables if you want. The key is being discrete about everything. It’s not just a way to avoid meetings with your advisors or getting fined extra money, but it actually will help you in life. Learn this skill. Perfect this skill. Live this skill, and you’ll excel in your chapter and in life.
And no matter what, always, always think before you Snapchat. It’s what your founders would have wanted..
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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