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New Vending Machine Tweets About You Every Time You Buy A Candy Bar

Screen Shot 2014-04-14 at 10.41.54 AM

You know the saying, “What you eat in private, you wear in public?” What was once only reserved for Weight Watchers meetings and “thinspiration” mantras on Pintrest, there is now something that brings this quote to life. Her name is “Holly,” and she’s a vending machine. Seriously.

Employees at Nottingham Hackspace in Nottingham, England, have effectively designed the first snarky, passive-aggressive piece of technology. It’s a vending machine that tattle-tweets on you every time you buy something unhealthy, publicly announcing your name to all.

“As soon as a purchase transaction is made, Holly not only knows who bought the snack, but what they bought, when they bought it, and how much they paid,” said James Fowkes, Holly’s creator. “[But] we have turned it off in recent weeks because people have been arguing with it and getting quite angry that it was telling everyone what they were eating on a regular basis.”

The tweet would look like this:

Nottinghack Server @Holly533MHz
Daniel purchased a 50p Twix Confectionary from the vending machine.

First off, James Fowkes, does it surprise you that people are getting angry about this? I’m not saying this is on the NSA spying level, but, like, it kind of is. You’re exposing personal information about people to the Twitterverse without their permission and making announcements about certain behaviors they might feel extremely self-conscious about. That’s not okay.

If Nottingham Hackspace is trying to help its employees lose weight, I do understand the rationale behind Holly, albeit in very simple terms–punish bad eating habits just like you would reward good ones. But this is beyond the scope of that. A machine can’t tell the difference between you consistently cheating on a diet plan and you having a bad day and just needing a chocolate pick-me-up. While there are measures that de-incentivize bad eating habits, public humiliation–especially without consent–is not one of them.

Second of all, although the premise of this invention really does anger me, I can’t help but wonder (and find a shitload of humor in) how people were actually “arguing” with a vending machine. After giving it some thought and limiting my rant to 140 characters, I’ve concluded that my response to Holly would be this:

Nottinghack Server @Holly533MHz
Drunk purchased a 50p Twix Confectionary from the vending machine.

DrunkButNOTinLove @DrunkNOTinLove
@Holly533MHz FUCK OFF, HOLLY. THE ONLY REASON YOU’RE A JEALOUS WHORE IS BECAUSE WE PROGRAMMED YOU TO BE ONE. #SHOTSFIRED #YOUCANTFIREBACK

#shemad. BRB, I’m going to go get myself a Twix bar.

[via TIME]

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Drunk but not in love

(@DrunkNOTinLove) is a die-hard Splenda addict who requires a constant supply of caffeine and male attention to make it through the day. After graduating with her degree in Economics, she now focuses her energy on adding a "Home" to her degree title by perfecting the "intelligent drunk," and conning a banker into marrying her one day. Originally from New England, she is a hardcore Boston sports fan, but only when boys are around. Almost all of her calories consumed Thursday - Saturday (and the occasional Tuesday) are from $7 bottles of Yellowtail Moscato, and in no way, shape, or form is she fazed by this. All forms of hate mail and date party inquiries can be sent to [email protected]

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