Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last

Nice guys

Him: “Hey, wanna go out for pizza and drinks later? I’ll buy!”
Me: “Aww! No thanks.”

Him: “Just wondering if you wanted to catch a movie tonight?”
Me: “I have a lot of homework, sorry.”

Him: “Hey! I bought two bottles of that wine you like! We can just hang out and maybe order Chinese?”
Me: This one didn’t even get a response.

As I sit here confused and brokenhearted because things didn’t work out with my last love interest, I started to wonder about the meaning behind the phrase “nice guys finish last.” I’d never really thought it was true. I thought I was always choosing the “nice guys,” but I stared at my phone, trying to will myself to respond to the nice guy while yearning for the asshole, and came to terms with reality.

No one can be caught without the chase, and nice guys are just standing there completely motionless, ready for you to pack them up and take them home. There’s no challenge, and I have no interest in it.

In the game of love, one person is always a little more invested than the other, which is exactly what makes it so addicting. You don’t care about having the attention of the guy who’s willingly giving it to you. You want the attention of the guy who hardly knows you exist — just to prove to yourself you can get it. You don’t want a boyfriend who’s a mere participation trophy. You want to win. And victory isn’t so sweet without a challenge. We all want to be wanted. But some of us feel sparks of fire within our souls at the prospect of making someone want us.

For the past five months, I have been messing around with the ultimate player. He’s everything I’ve been looking for in a boyfriend. He’s tall, he’s blonde, he has the most gorgeous blue eyes, and he is popular on the football team. He laughs at all my jokes, understands the importance of having deep conversations after midnight, and even sends the “good morning” text first. I was so head over heels in love with the idea of him that I lost sight of what was really happening. While I considered us to be in a relationship — with or without the title — he saw things differently. To him, I was just a rebound, a backup plan to help heal the pain of his last breakup.

At the time, I didn’t realize just how bad he had me wrapped around his finger.

As if the constant “I still love you” texts from his ex weren’t a big enough warning for me to pack up and leave, the other signs that are so clear to me now were non-existent just a few months ago. For example, when his ex-girlfriend charged up the stairs to his room and gave him a stack of love letters right in front of me, I just laughed and let it go. When he broke up with me the day before I left for a six-week study abroad trip and then asked to get back together when I got home, I just rolled my eyes and let it go. When he asked me if he could call me if things didn’t work out after he tried things out one last time with his ex, I just bit my tongue and let it go. See a common theme here?

I wasted so much time chasing a boy who didn’t deserve my attention that I neglected all of the boys who did. Lesson learned ladies: if a boy knows your favorite kind of wine and is willing to buy you TWO bottles of it, give him a chance. Maybe it’s true that all nice guys finish last, but that doesn’t mean that all bad guys get to win the final race. It’s okay to play the game for awhile and chase that hot frat star in your biology class. Chase him until you discover for yourself that you’re running in the wrong direction after all, because you and I both know that there’s a nice boy waiting for you at the end of that finish line.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a text ordering Chinese food to answer.

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Learning the ropes as I go.

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