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Nick Jonas’ “Harrowing” Fraternity Hazing Film Is Laughable

Nick Jonas' "Harrowing" Fraternity Hazing Film Is Laughable

A lot of people were a little nervous when they heard about Goat, the Sundance film starring Nick Jonas that explores the world of fraternity hazing. The film was said to be “brutal and harrowing” in its depiction of physical, mental, and even sexual fraternity hazing.

Now, a clip of the hazing that can be witnessed in the film has been released, and let me just say…. that’s it? The clip, found on Deadline, is currently not embeddable, but you can watch it here. I’ll wait.

I’m not going to sit here and just ignore the fact that the pledge master is wearing a hemp necklace like the ones I made at camp in third grade. I can’t be scared of that guy. In fact, I snickered at the over the top, cheesy, and stereotypical “harrowing” line:

I am your pledge master. And you are my bitches.

No one in the history of pledging has ever said that. This was supposed to be a “real” look into Greek life. Hollywood just can not stop making fraternity films “Hollywood,” no matter how many times they try. And more importantly, where the fuck was Jonas?

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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