When I was growing up, my parents always told me I could be anything I wanted. I assumed they meant that if I tried hard enough, I could be a doctor or a lawyer or a CEO. Well, I wanted to be Beyoncé, and thanks to this New York City class, my dreams can finally come true.
We all admire Beyoncé because of how fierce she is in her appearance and with her dance moves, so for $20 a session, Broadway Bodies will teach you Beyoncé’s dances to Beyoncé’s songs, presumably resulting in you getting Beyoncé’s body. There’s obviously a waiting list, but if I had to choose between waiting in line early for an iPhone 6 or taking the Beyoncé dance class…well, let’s just say that no iPhone app will ever give me those thighs.
I’m assuming that if this class is any good, it will also teach you how to get white girls to bow down to you and call you queen, land a billionaire, and look like a supermodel immediately after giving birth. I’ll probably call in sick the day you learn how to name your offspring like a colorblind botanist though. (No offense, Blue. Still be my friend?) Although, I guess if you can name your child Blue Ivy and still be worshipped around the globe, you’re probably doing something right. So sign me up–I’m ready for my tiara.
[via Betches Love This]