New Year’s Eve is upon us. Arguably the best night of the year. Why? Because on NYE the whole world sparkles, and who doesn’t fucking love things that sparkle? After searching for like…ever with your high school bestie, you found the perfect dress. It’s made entirely of sequins. On an ordinary night you’d say such a dress should only be worn by street walkers and exotic dancers (even though you secretly wished you could wear something made of glitter without looking tacky), but tonight, is the one night of the year that this type of ensemble is appropriate to wear. And you don’t even have to pair it with subtle jewelry. Giant chandelier earrings are totally acceptable. This is New Year’s Eve. The blingier, the better.
So after curling your hair to perfection, slipping on your new red panties for good luck in the new year, standing in an assembly line as the sister who’s perfected the smokey eye does everyone’s make-up, and slapping on some lipstick that can withstand rain, sleet, or MO, you start taking some super sweet pics and have someone’s parent drop you off at the train station because it’s NYE so you will be deserting your local bars (and don’t you dare even THINK about going to some lame house party at someone’s parents’ house), and heading out to your nearest big city. Even though you charged $180 to Daddy’s credit card for dinner and an open bar until 1 (not like you’d pay for any drinks even if you hadn’t), you still make sure to chug a healthy serving of vodka and crystal lite for your ride in, because arriving somewhere sober is not an option.
Once you arrive at your destination the excitement overcomes you. Or maybe that’s the vodka.
Either way, it isn’t long before you feel yourself transitioning over to blackout, when someone drunkenly utters “Shit! It’s only 10:30! We normally wouldn’t have even left yet!” All part of the magic that is New Year’s Eve. While being a complete and utter disaster this evening is perfectly acceptable, and anyone who feels the need (or has the capacity) to judge tonight is simply not having enough fun, I’d advise you to slow it down because you don’t want to be on a dirty bathroom floor with your head in the toilet when the clock strikes 12, and if your friends have to spend it holding your hair back you will be in an eternal debt to them.
What should you be doing instead at midnight…Making out with a handsome stranger! Duh. Just another reason why New Year’s Eve is better than all other nights. Normally, you see some girl in a lip-lock in public with a blatant disregard for her surroundings and she’s a trashy GDI dirtbag. Tonight, not only is this behavior acceptable, but it’s encouraged. Make sure you’re wearing long-last lip color, because seriously, the post-make-out rabid animal look is unbecoming. If you don’t have a date for New Year’s Eve I’d settle on a prospect early on. It’s all fun and games until you’re the girl standing on top of the bar crying because everywhere you look people are kissing while you drink champagne out of the bottle alone. Not the best way to welcome 2012.
But above all this, I really just love NYE because it’s magical. Do I sound like a gay? Maybe. But I just think it’s so fantastic that the whole world (or at least everyone in your time zone) is doing the same thing at the same time. Counting down those last ten seconds just goes in slow-motion and there is something amazing about it. How can you feel anything but happy in that instance? Perhaps, it’s because you’re about to leave all the bad decisions of the preceding year behind, making room for all new bad decisions, or maybe you’re just drunk, but it’s one of the best moments of the year.
So, with that said, Happy New Year everyone!
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]
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