Meet Alexandria Mauer, a 24-year-old woman from Westlake, Ohio. Her hobbies include driving around with her boyfriend, being naked, and eating pizza… at the same time. She’s an absolute inspiration to us all.
This past weekend, Westlake authorities received a call from a concerned business employee. The caller reported that a naked couple had been hanging out in a nearby parking lot. By the time the police arrived, the couple had vanished (probably to pick up some ‘za.) The couple was later located after Alexandria drove up on a curb and through a tree lawn, because apparently eating and driving is a very difficult task. Authorities quickly arrested the pair, who were enjoying a pizza together. Official reports indicate that Mauer’s boyfriend, 33-year-old Kenneth Gillespie, was consuming alcohol prior to the arrest, and proceeded to urinate in the back of the police cruiser on the way to the station. Is this a power couple or what?
I don’t really see what the problem is. Joyrides are awesome. Being naked is awesome. Eating pizza is awesome. This whole story and every aspect of Mauer’s life is, in fact, awesome. The cops should’ve respected the fact that this woman truly is living life to the fullest.
Or maybe not. Turns out Mauer was again arrested for disorderly conduct/intoxication about an hour later, and our boy Kenny was on probation for drug possession, which is alarming, but not totally surprising.
I just with I could get in contact with Alexandria, so I could ask if this dream date was worth the arrest(s). Guess I’ll just have to see for myself. .
[via ABC]
Image via Shutterstock
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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