Everyone knows if you’re not obsessed with Ellen, you’re an asshole. She tricked the world into making her A-list Oscar selfie the most retweeted tweet of all time. Also, this video exists because of Ellen.
Specifically, sorority girls really dig her. Remember these girls? The ones who tried to make ED, the erectile dysfunction Ellen Degeneres sorority? Yikes.
The newest batch of Ellen fanatics are the women of Delta Gamma at Oklahoma University, as they prepare for lectureship this year. Delta Gamma hosts the event every other year as a means to “vaguely promote the ideals that Delta Gamma fosters to the rest of the university community,” thanks to a grant with the university. End game: it’s for money. This year, the Alpha Iota chapter wants to invite Ellen to be its lectureship speaker. But first, she has to go through recruitment.
I think the floating Ellen heads are a nice touch. My sorority actually had my head floating around the recruitment room, which is why I joined.
Recruitment is not enough for a bad bitch like Ellen, of course. We all watch her show–or we don’t, because we’re old and have work during the day. But we do all know Ellen loves to dance, which is why DG put together a lyrically masterful rendition of “Talk Dirty To Me.” Look out for fake Ellen. Fake Ellen breaks it down.
I think there’s a good chance that she goes from an Oscars host to a sorority speaker. Best of luck, ladies.
Nice Move342
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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