Pandas, they’re just like us! And by us, I mean those crazy bitches who fake pregnancy to get their boyfriends back in their devilish grip by sending them pictures of a positive pee test they found on the internet. Turns out, pandas are also crazy bitches, but they don’t actually want to ruin lives with their fake pregnancies. They just want to be given more food.
Yuan Yuan, a genius panda who lives at the Taipei Zoo in China, had everyone thinking she was pregnant. Her uterine wall was thickening, she was eating less, and had a bunch of other panda signs indicating that she was with child. Joke’s on them, because Yuan Yuan tricked them all. She even tricked her caretakers, who are supposed to be experts in pandas and panda pregnancy.
Honestly, if I was a panda, I might fake a pregnancy, too. Since pandas are endangered and rarely (read: too lazy to) procreate when left to their own devices, pregnant pandas are treated like royalty. Carefully protected, overfed royalty. So basically, just like pregnant women. The expectant mothers get the five-star treatment: a single room (with air conditioning, holla), constant attention, and all the bamboo and fruit a panda could want. Sounds pretty legit to me.
Yuan Yuan was one smart panda bitch. Okay, so maybe her plan didn’t totally work out because her caretakers eventually asked for hard evidence of a panda baby and Yuan Yuan was all “LOL just kidding I’m not preggo, I was just hungry, don’t hate me.” But hey, at least she got some extra food and a better room for a little while.
Mad respect, Yuan Yuan..
Image via Shutterstock