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Penn State Alpha Sigma Alpha Roomies Go To Court Over Dudes And Pasta, Still Living Together

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If this story doesn’t have you saying “What the actual FUCK,” you’re insane. Because seriously, what the actual FUCK?!

Two Penn state Alpha Sigma Alphas, Rachel Lader and Molly Brownstein, took a trip to Barcelona to study abroad earlier this year, and ran into a bit of trouble when they found that their lifestyles deemed them incompatible roommates. Rachel, the rowdier of the two, apparently played music too loud, brought one too many guys back to her room (like, literally, there was just one guy), and at one point dumped a vat of pasta onto her roommate’s bed. Molly Brownstein’s mother wrote an eight-page letter about the alleged grievances, proving she is the world’s lowest-flying helicopter parent. But I digress.

We originally covered this mess when it was discovered that the two decided to take their drama to court, because holy shit, who actually takes roommate drama to court? Only the worst imaginable circumstances would warrant a threat of legal action, like that time I told my friend, “Jesus Christ Sara, if you play Big Spenda one more time I’m hiring a lawyer to implement some sort of legally binding friendship separation.” You just don’t take your roommates to court, and you definitely don’t take your friends to court. It’s an unheard of douche move.

But now, the two sisters have “hugged and made up.” It’s like they don’t even understand how serious filing a federal lawsuit is. Rachel has apparently dropped the suit, and Molly’s father took to Daily Mail to say that the whole thing was a “big misunderstanding.” He also made sure to note that the two plan to live together for senior year. Because apparently the internet hasn’t already given the two girls enough shit for this mess.

So, to recap: Girls move in together. Girls don’t get along. Rachel files lawsuit, claiming that Molly’s parents used their corporate influence to encourage disciplinary investigation against Rachel that put her on academic probation. Girls make up. Lawsuit is dropped. Girls then decide to live together, because they have learned absolutely nothing and there is no hope left for either of them in this world.

Whatever you do, give your bestie a hug tonight. Split a bowl of pasta, while you’re at it. Because she is nowhere as petty as these two, and I can almost guarantee she and her parents will never hire a lawyer to sue you for all that you’re worth.

[via Daily Mail]

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to [email protected].

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