If you thought Taylor Swift was popular before, you know nothing, betches. She just hit a new level of superstardom, where you can literally do nothing and get paid millions of dollars for it.
Taylor Swift is gearing up to release her highly-anticipated new studio album “1989,” which drops next week, and some eagle-eyed TSwift fans noticed that iTunes was offering a new single off the album, called “Track 3.” It had a whopping length of nine seconds, which, for all we know, could’ve been an amazing albeit super-short song–I mean, we’ve all had seemingly mind-blowing experiences that lasted only nine seconds. If you bothered to preview the song, you’d know it was literally only white noise.
— Scott Thiessen (@scottthiessen) October 21, 2014
But that didn’t stop a BUNCH of people from downloading it.
— barney stinson (@hedwigyitzhak) October 21, 2014
Why does my iTunes let me play ‘track 3’ of @taylorswift13 #1989 but it’s just static??
— Emily Barrett (@barrettemily4) October 21, 2014
“Stefon, how many people?” you may ask. Well, enough to get it to the top of the Canadian iTunes chart, that’s how goddamn many.
That’s right, enough people paid $1.29 for NINE SECONDS OF WHITE NOISE, just because they thought it was a new, epic Taylor Swift song. And they say our generation is wasteful and stupid with money.
Neither TayTay nor Apple have commented on the matter. They’re probably too busy rolling around in a pile of Canadian money. This reporter believes that it may look something like this:
One thing is for certain: Taylor Swift has just entered a new level of superstardom with this move, one that’s on the level of a certain Queen B–oh, you know who I’m talking about.
Beyonce could drop an album wit 17 tracks of silence and ya’ll would still be like “Keri Hilson could never be this quiet! Yassssss hunty”
— Imnyo Favorites (@Misterbiceps) December 13, 2013