Landing a boyfriend can be extremely challenging. First you have to convince a guy there’s more to you than the wine stain on your shirt, then you have to convince your friends that the text exchange you had with him is more important than whatever bullshit *they* wanted to talk about, and honestly, that’s as far as I’ve gotten, for the most part. But there are chicks out there who know exactly what they’re doing and end up with new men faster than they can say “I just really want to focus on myself” (shouts to those chicks — everyone hates you). For the rest of us, however, you have to put in a little effort to lure a man into your trap (pun intended), and there’s a solid chance you’ve gone about it the exact wrong way: by pretending to like sports.
Sure, there are girls out there who actually enjoy watching a bunch of grown men throw a ball around for two hours (so I hear) and that’s great for them. But there are WAY too many of us out here cheering for teams we didn’t know existed two months ago. You’re not fooling anyone, and you’re not appealing to your man in the process. He, someone actually knowledgeable about sports, can tell when you’re bullshitting, so rather than coming across as the “cool sports chick” you assume he wants, you’re actually coming across as the girl who tries too hard to impress him and looks ~pathetic.~
Here’s a little secret: not all guys expect girls to like sports. In fact, most guys don’t care either way. If you would rather spend your Sunday watching KUWTK than “the game,” and a guy gives a shit about that, he is a douchebag who’s looking for a friend, not a girlfriend. What guys do care about is the way you bitch about sports. If you go do your own thing while he’s watching the Cubs game, he’s not going to suddenly decide he doesn’t like you. If, however, you sit there complaining about how watching this game bores you, and take the fun out of something he likes, I can 110% guarantee it isn’t going to work out between you two. It’s perfectly normal to have different interests, how you put up with them is all that matters to him.
So cut the shit. Seriously. He knows sports make you want to rip your eyes out even if you’re talking about how much you love Tom Brady and J.J. Watt. Those are the only athletes any of us have ever heard of, and you like them because they’re hot. He’s not an idiot. Just quit trying to act like you love lounging around with your “favorite” IPAs while cheering for some team that’s totally irrelevant to you. If you aren’t the “cool girl” who knows her sports shit, it’s chill. Maybe try being yourself? If that doesn’t work, get a dog..
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Kellie Stritz
Kellie, spelled with an "ie," practically resides at Starbucks even though they have yet to spell her name correctly. She's obsessed with the color pink, Elle Woods, and Bitmoji's. Her biggest accomplishment is breaking the record within her sorority for how many standards hearings she has had without getting kicked out. She spends her free time trying to stay tan (i.e. sunburnt) and stalking people on social media.
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