Pretentious Hippie Marries Phone In Extravagant Political Statement

Man marries phone

It’s hard to think of the last time an iPhone was not within a three feet radius. If it’s not your own, then a roommate or stranger on the street is carrying one. Our smart phones have become an integral part of our lives. It’s our camera, our alarm clock, our GPS, our means of communication, and our key to the vast interwebs. When our phones are broken, so are we. It’s hard to imagine how anyone survived before iPhones. We want to spend the rest of our lives with our phones, and one guy took that to the extremes.

Aaron Chervenak packed his tux and his phone and headed to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to hold what can only be described as the most ostentatious attempt to go viral social experiment in recent history.

After watching this video, I rolled my eyes so hard my retinas detached. It’s like a bad episode of My Strange Addiction. Everything he says throughout the video is asinine.

“I wanted to know what it was actually like to marry a phone.”
I’m guessing sad? Pitiful? An all time low?

“We contacted a local chapel to see if they’d be willing to perform this slightly unorthodox ceremony…”
Slightly unorthodox must be what he calls it to help him sleep at night.

“…And they weren’t just willing to, I think they were excited about the prospect.”
They were excited that someone is dumb enough to pay for a wedding to a phone.

“I’m trying to ask the hard questions of myself as to what this relationship means.”
You should be asking yourself why you think that any of your family members could look at you the same after you get famous for MARRYING A PHONE.

The pastor really gives it his all and does an excellent job of not laughing in Aaron’s face for being so farcical. He doesn’t even make him kiss the phone, which would have been an incredibly cringeworthy moment. Aaron wants his video to get other people to question their relationship with their phones, but all I’m questioning is his sanity. Too bad he’s off the market. He seems like a real keeper.

[via Cosmpolitan]

Image via Youtube

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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