It’s so important to become friends with your neighbors. You never know when you’ll need to borrow a couple of eggs to bake a cake or a lighter when you mysteriously misplace yours for the billionth time. And if your neighbors happen to be hot guys, well, that’s just the icing on the cake. Or is it?
Having a hot neighbor is a blessing but also a curse. On the one hand, there’s that whole fantasy aspect of having the hots for the guy next door. On the other hand, if things go south, you’ll have to suffer making awkward eye contact in the parking garage and elevator every day until you move out. Tough choice. What better way to make this (or any) hugely important decision than with a pro/con list? Let’s break it down.
Pro: Hooking Up Has Never Been More Convenient
No more playing phone tag and sending a million drunken texts that even you yourself can’t decipher when you check your texts the next morning. No more traveling to far, far away places only to have him fall asleep before you get there. It’s so much easier to simply make a pit stop at the place next door. An orgasm is quite literally waiting for you when you get home. Oh, did he run out of condoms? Just go back to your place and grab one of your “roommates” condoms that she happens to keep in your bedside drawer. Grab a post-sex snack while you’re at it.
The whole “your place or mine?” question isn’t so much a question as it is a preference. If your bed is more comfortable, go to your place. If your roommates are being loud and annoying, move to his. Hell, choose both. Round one your place, round two his.
Con: You’ll Know If You’re Not The Only One
Nothing is worse than waking up for class one morning and seeing him walking a different girl out of his place, or seeing him stumble back at two in the morning with someone who isn’t you. You will inevitably experience one or both of these occurrences and it. will. suck. You knew you were keeping it casual, but there’s a difference between seeing the guy you’re sleeping with talking to another girl at a bar and seeing the guy you’re sleeping with pre or post-coitus with another girl. Unless you’re one of those cool girls who ACTUALLY doesn’t care if the guy you’re talking to hooks up with someone else, you’re screwed.
Pro: You Can Hook up Whenever You Want
In the mood for a little afternoon delight? Well come and knock on his door, because he might be waiting for you and wanting to bone. Most of the hassle of hooking up is timing and location, so if you start knocking boots with your neighbor, you can hook up literally any time. Late night, early morning, after a particularly nude Game of Thrones episode.
Con: You Won’t Always Have Time To Prepare
Ever get that text from a guy, “on my way, be there soon” and race to clean your room, shave your entire body, and hide your dirty underwear in the hamper all before he gets there? If you’re next door neighbors, you don’t have time for any of that shit. He’ll see your snotty underwear in plain sight, right next to your at-home mustache waxing kit and used tissues. That’s not a good look. Of course, you could always go to his place, but if his roommates are there watching a stupid sports game or being obnoxious, he’ll just have to deal with your stubbly legs and dirty room.
Pro: It’s The Shortest Walk Of Shame Ever
This is probably the best thing about hooking up with your neighbor. Few people, if anyone, will see you walk the short distance from your place to his. You can probably do it barefoot if you’re really close. Or if you’re really bold, you could go to his place to have sex and go back to your place to sleep in your own bed, no walk of shame necessary.
Con: When Things Inevitably Go Sour, The Awkwardness Will Never End
If something happens and your perfect little arrangement is perfect no more, you’re in for a lot of awkward moments. At least if you bang on the door of any other hookup for an hour, begging him to let you in, the only time you might see him is at a crowded party or across the quad, giving you plenty of opportunity to run and hide. The same is not to be said when you’re hooking up with your neighbor. It’s just you and him riding that elevator up five floors or passing each other in the hallway. A few of these awkward encounters and you’ll be taking the stairs every. single. time.
Hooking up with your neighbor can be great, if done correctly. If you don’t catch feelings and use him solely as an all-too-convenient fuck buddy, this type of arrangement could be ideal. But if you’re a self-diagnosed “crazy girl” who can’t separate sex from emotions, don’t do it. You’ll have one or two nights of bliss before something happens and you have to deal with uncomfortable run-ins with him for the rest of your lease. It’s not worth it.
Unless he’s really, really hot. .