“It’s okay, you’re prettier than she is.”
This is a considered a compliment in girl world. Girl world is a crazy place with waterfalls of Diet Coke and where the trees have Starbucks cups instead of leaves and everyone wears leggings all the time. It should be a happy place where we all watch rom-coms in our pajamas and drink Moscato, but it’s more like that scene in “Mean Girls” where the girls attack each other like safari animals in the wild.
Why do we do this to each other? Why do we hate each other so much?
If we said some of the things we say to each other about a different race or culture, it wouldn’t be okay. Instead, we’re making Susan B. Anthony roll over in her grave because we’re saying these things about each other. It’s not okay. It’s not okay to be that horrible to anyone, much less another girl who is probably as insecure and scared of rejection as you are.
Guys don’t do this to each other, because they simply don’t care. The only competition in which they face each other is intramurals, and while they can get pretty serious about it, at the end of the day it’s all fun and games and they shake hands at the end.
If a guy chooses another girl over you, that’s his problem, not hers. She’s not a bitch, she’s just his type. If a girl gets a position on exec over you, that’s what the chapter decided and until she royally fucks up, you should support her, rather than searching for a weakness in her to distract from the weakness you feel.
The whole Taylor Swift/Nicki Minaj fiasco is a perfect example. Whether Nicki meant to subtweet Taylor or not, Taylor felt attacked and said some words back. They weren’t rude to each other, and when they realized it was a misunderstanding, it was all good. Tay and Nicki are friends again and the pop industry returned to equilibrium. We should look up to Nicki and Taylor, because when they had an issue, they didn’t call each other names or write songs behind each other’s back. They worked it out. In public. Out loud (basically). Taylor Swift obviously isn’t a perfect example since her feud with Katy Perry has reached epic proportions, but at least she’s trying to be better with Nicki.
I think we’re afraid of getting walked on and taken advantage of, so we play the defensive and act harsh instead of strong. Girls don’t have to be bitchy to be taken seriously. I’m not lecturing about giving kindness from my pulpit, because I’m just as guilty as anyone else. I get jealous and insecure, and I compare myself to pretty much every other girl I see. I pass judgments, I call girls names, and I have to really try to change my own thinking when I see another girl that’s prettier or smarter than I am. I’m not proud of it, but it takes purposeful action for me to stop thinking this way. But if that’s what it takes, I’ll do it.
Girls can be bitches. Straight up. The only other species who hates their same species this much is spiders, because sometimes they get hungry and eat their own babies. At least we don’t do that.
To be perfectly clear, there’s a huge difference between calling your BFFs your bitches and actually being a bitch to other girls. Being a bitch is being judgey, hateful, or rude to another girl for baseless reasons. We all do it. It’s okay to admit it. It’s a knee-jerk reaction for some of us. But we can, and should, stop doing it.
Be decent to each other. And I’m not just talking about your friends, and your sisters, and your mom. I’m talking that woman you point and whisper about because her dress is a little too short, or her tan looks too fake. I’m talking about that girl with the bigger boobs, the better hair, the smaller waist. She’s probably looking at you wishing she had your amazing ass.
If we don’t support each other and help each other, who will? Definitely not the boys. We need each other now more than ever. How can we ever get guys to see us as equals if we don’t even consider ourselves equals? We’re in constant competition with each other. We have to stop seeing other women as our competition and start acting like we’re on the same team, because we are.
Stop being bitches. Stop being crazy. Stop hating each other. This isn’t the “Mad Men” era. There’s room for more than one woman at the top, Emma Watson is going to make sure of that. Kindness isn’t considered weakness, it’s considered being a decent human being. You can be strong and kind without sacrificing your inner fire. If you’re going to the top, why not bring a couple fierce friends with you? Instead of being a bitch, you’ll be a bad bitch, and that’s exactly the type of girl we should all want to be..