With officer elections coming up, many of you are faced with the exciting, yet nerve-wracking decision of which office you should run for. No fear, little ones – I’ve provided a convenient quiz to help you make your decision.
1. It’s your favorite fraternity’s formal, which ironically provokes the least formal behavior you’ve ever seen. Being wasted, or being on the road to becoming wasted, isn’t quite out of the norm, but there’s one girl that has clearly gone overboard. She’s sitting on the lap of her date while sloppily making out with someone else’s date, and you heard one of your pledge sisters talking about how they saw her pre-gaming (a given), but it was with PNMs. What do you do?
a. You’re furious. This girl is single-handedly ruining the reputation of your sorority as “the classiest ladies on campus.” You take a picture and make a mental note to e-mail standards first thing in the morning.
b. You ARE this girl. And what’s the problem, exactly? Formal is meant to be the biggest party of the year, and you’re here to party.
c. You immediately take the situation into your own hands. You pull your inebriated sister off of the guy’s lap, and grab a pledge sister to help hustle this girl off of the dance floor and into a cab as inconspicuously as possible. You ride with her back to your hotel to make sure she makes it into her own bed.
d. You immediately start asking around to find out the names of the PNMs your sister was caught doing Jell-O shots with, and make sure they know that “we like to have fun at formal,” while making sure they know that if they ever breathe a word of this to anyone, they’ll never have a shot at a bid. You single-handedly make sure your sorority maintains your good reputation while ensuring your chapter won’t be put on probation.
2. What should be the theme of your next recruitment event be?
a. Something classy. You’re thinking something along the lines of Breakfast at Tiffany’s where everyone will be in LBDs and pearls while being able to showcase our amazing baking skills.
b. Does it matter? Everyone knows that the themes that really matter are for the mixers you’ll be having this year! Cops and robbers! Toga party! Cowboys and Indians! The possibilities are endless…
c. It doesn’t matter to you, as long as she stays away from the “Viva Las Vegas!” and “Mardi Gras” themes that you’ve noticed the social chair submitting. You’re all for themes that maximize fun as long as no one goes crazy. You don’t want your sorority to be the next to get in trouble for drinking with prospectives.
d. There are so many possibilities! You want a classy theme that still shows the PNMs you know how to have fun, like a Greek goddess spin off of the classic toga party. Whatever it is, you plan to go all-out on your costume and are sure to text the Recruitment Chair to see if she can use any help with decorations.
3. What do you do on the weekends?
a. You have a 4.0 GPA to maintain and law school applications on the horizon, so your main priority is to get ahead on your schoolwork.
b. Is that even a question? Something involving bars, shots, and waking up in someone else’s bed. Although that isn’t necessarily limited to the weekend.
c. You like to have fun on the weekends, but stay sober after the first shot so you can drive the crew home. You leave your phone on you at all times in case someone else needs an emergency ride, and you make sure your sister goes home with you instead of the guy who’s clearly only a 5.
d. Like any other weekday, your weekend is definitely going to be busy. You’re catching up on your homework, managing the other members in your group project, and drafting a piece of legislation for your internship. Even though you’re not an officer this year, you promised the Pledge Mistress that you would help her work on the pledging schedule, and you’re meeting with the Spirit Chair to come up with some new recruitment songs. People come to you because they know you’ll follow through, and you never disappoint.
Results:
Mostly A’s: President
You have the mind of someone on exec committee. Although you may be seen as one of the joy-kills in your sorority, as much as we hate to admit it, we need people like you to function properly or we’d all be a hot mess. You’re the one who knows chapter bylaws backwards and forwards and has the best interests of your sorority’s reputation at heart. You were born to be on exec, so step up and run for President with that type-A personality!
Mostly B’s: Social Chair
You joined your sorority for the parties, and you’ve had a great time so far. You’re teeming with ideas about themes for the next mixer or where you want to go for formal. You have the best ideas because you’re creative and a ton of fun. Have a blast being Social Chair next year – just try to stay sober long enough to actually remember the events that you throw.
Mostly C’s: Risk Management Chair
Your biggest concern is keeping up the face of the sorority. You like having fun as much as the next girl, but you’re more concerned about how your chapter would be perceived if one of your actives were to be caught drunk…in public…while dancing on a raised surface…in a cage…wearing letters. You also have a type-A personality, and don’t mind taking matters into your own hands to make sure your sorority’s reputation stays solid.
Mostly D’s: Recruitment Chair
You’re the girl that knows how to get things done, and everyone knows it. You know that the only way to do something correctly is to do it yourself, which is why you’re perfect for the job. You’re a little bit OCD and a little bit crazy, but don’t worry, those are requirements for every Recruitment Chair. Most of all, you know that the future of your sorority’s reputation rests in the hands of those PNMs, so you’ll do everything you can to make sure you recruit the best, the brightest, and the cutest pledges possible.
Good luck and happy campaigning!
Nice Move149
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RecruitmentChairTSM
RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com
@TheRecruitChair
