Astrology might seem like complete bullshit to some people, but I consider it to be fact. My horoscope is never wrong, and if it is, I just write it off as my fault because I must be unaligned with the cosmos that day. I love astrology so much that I think I’m becoming somewhat of an expert. Last time I used my astrology skills to predict what kind of guys you date based on your zodiac sign, and now I think I’ve honed my skill/the cosmos enough to predict how recruitment will go for you depending on your sign. Take a look and see if I’m right.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
For PNMs: Aries is naturally energetic, so recruitment, though stressful at times, is going to be a breeze for her. Aries might act like she’s really nervous about recruitment on the outside, but on the inside, she knows they’ll be okay, no matter what house she ends up in. Lucky for her, their upbeat personality will attract the top houses’ attention, as long as she has the GPA to back it up.
For Actives: Aries is one of those girls that loves recruitment. She’s that annoying excited girl who’s always the first to get lined up in bump groups and actually practices conversations she would have with PNMs instead of just talking about whatever. Aries won’t be stressed about recruitment because she knows how to talk to girls and make them think this is where they want to be. She’s a top rusher who definitely has recruitment chair written all over her.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
For PNMs: Taurus has it all: the resume, the personality, and the confidence to make recruitment her bitch. She’s been preparing for recruitment all summer, and if she’s being honest, she started thinking about recruitment in the womb. She’s broken in her shoes, she’s picked out the perfect outfits, and she’s reviewed the recruitment guide at least a hundred times. She picked out what houses she wants, and even though she says she totally “trusts the system,” she would really only be happy in her top three. She doesn’t know what she would do if she didn’t get a bid from one of those chapters, but she doesn’t have to worry about it because she definitely 100 percent will.
For Actives: Taurus has been gone all summer doing something amazing with her life like interning on Wall Street or brushing the teeth of Sudanese orphans. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to recruitment, but once she gets there she’ll reconnect with all her sisters and her bond with her sorority will be stronger than ever before.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Gemini is thrilled to be going through recruitment. She’s so excited to make new friends and long-lasting college memories that she don’t even care what house they get into because a Gemini will make the best of whatever situation she’s into. She’s the girl who makes friends with everyone in her rush group and genuinely doesn’t see tiers in the Greek system. Gemini isn’t nervous now, but I can see the craziness of recruitment getting to her. As long as she stays true to herself and what she wants, she’ll end up being very happy on bid day.
For Actives: You know that girl who’s always complaining about recruitment practice and how annoying it is that she can’t drink for the next two weeks? Yeah, she’s a Gemini. Gemini is one of those girls that hates recruitment. She loves her sorority and her sisters, but she absolutely dreads those long practices and that goody two shoes Aries for being so fucking peppy about the whole thing. Don’t worry, Gemini — it’ll be over soon.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
For PNMs: Cancer is all about sisterhood. She’s going through recruitment to find her people — her best friends who will stand by her side on her wedding day as her bridesmaids. She can’t wait to know what sorority she gets a bid from so she can immediately decorate her dorm room with their colors and symbols. She’s a crafting queen with a pure heart, and that’s something the actives will definitely see in her during recruitment. On Bid Day she’ll be the girl crying in the arms of her soon-to-be-big about how she finally found her home.
For Actives: Cancer loves recruitment because it means she gets to hang around her favorite people all day. She’s already found her rush crush and is plotting ways to get her to join. She’s been crafting for months and has spent more money on stuff for her potential little than dues. She’ll be the girl bawling during pref night speeches, unintentionally capturing the hearts of all the PNMs.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
For PNMS: Leo is the kind of girl who’s just effortlessly cool, and the worst thing about her is that she’s actually a really nice person so you can’t even hate her for being so cool. She’s friendly, she’s pretty, she’s popular, so she definitely won’t have a problem in recruitment. She can tell which sororities she would fit into and which ones she definitely wouldn’t, so she’s hoping she gets paired with the cool girls in her favorites. (And trust me, she will.)
For Actives: Leo is probably the star of skit day, whether it be her dancing, cheerleading, or singing skills. She has a major part in the recruitment process because she is what her sorority wants every PNM to be: funny, talented, and pretty. She’ll get to talk to all the top PNMs, which means she’ll definitely sway them into picking her chapter.
Virgo (August 23- September 22)
For PNMs: Virgo is so excited about recruitment she can barely sleep. She’s been looking forward to it all summer long, and she can’t wait to visit all the chapters and make tons of new friends. She’s already made a pros and cons list for each chapter. She’s going to have a smooth recruitment process, up until the very end when she’ll have a very tough choice to make. Don’t stress about it too much, Virgo. Both houses would be a great fit for you.
For Actives: Virgos are very analytical and reliable so she’s going to be the recruitment chairs best friend. She’s able to use her intelligence and investigative skills to find the best PNMs and put them in a tidy Excel sheet for the recruitment chair to look over. She’s not the best recruiter, she’s more of a behind-the-scenes kind of girl, but that’s exactly why she’s so valuable to the chapter. It’ll be a busy week for Virgo, her organization skills will make for a smooth recruitment process for the chapter.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
For PNMs: A Libra wants to get into a top house or no house. She’s very picky and knows she’ll only be happy if she’s one of the best, so it’s all or nothing for her. She has the looks and the smarts, so she could very easily get what she wants, as long as she doesn’t come off as too cocky.
For Actives: Libra is very involved with recruitment because she wants to make sure her sorority keeps its high reputation, or she wants to help improve her sorority’s reputation if it’s not a top house. She’ll insist on using glass cups instead of paper cups and will take it upon herself to make sure the house is decorated impeccably in order to attract the best girls. She’ll be the girl fixing everyone’s hair if it’s flat or frizzy and touching up her sister’s makeup if she looks shiny. Her hard work will pay off, as this year her chapter will go home with the best (and prettiest) PNMS.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
For PNMs: Scorpio came to college for the party scene and is looking for a sorority who likes to go as hard as she does. She wants a sisterhood, obviously, but a sisterhood that she can be her hot mess self around. Her grades and resume are good, so she won’t have a problem getting call backs from all the best chapters. It’ll be her choice in the end, and she’ll definitely make the right one. On Bid Day she’ll run home to sisters and then run straight to the bar at all the Bid Day parties.
For Actives: Scorpio hates recruitment. She hates talking to lame girls, she hates being up early and having to get dressed up every day, and she hates that everything during recruitment is so fake. She’ll suffer through recruitment until the last few days when she realizes that recruitment brought her closer to girls in her chapter she never really talked to before. When recruitment’s over, she’ll celebrate by trading her heels for white converse and partying until the sun comes up.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
For PNMs: Saggitarius is very independent so the idea of recruitment in general goes against everything she knows. But she’s always down to try anything, so she’ll go through with it anyway, and she’ll be glad she did because she’ll end up in a sorority that appreciates her for who she is and that doesn’t treat her as just another number. She might bitch and moan about recruitment at first, but she’ll come to realize joining a sorority was definitely the right choice.
For Actives: Saggitarius finds recruitment tedious and fake. She’ll go through the motions and smile and clap with the rest of her sisters, but her heart isn’t really in it. She’ll be constantly reminded by the recruitment chair to smile in the doorstack, even during practice, which will make her even more annoyed. Saggitarius knows how to fake it so she’ll be a hit with PNMs, but by the end of the week, she’ll be so glad it’s over.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
For PNMs: Capricorn’s true calling in life is to be in a sorority. She’s a classy broad who is actually looking forward to doing philanthropy and helping people, which is why she’ll end up in the house that actually does philanthropy instead of just asking their parents to donate money.
For Actives: Capricorn is definitely on exec and she’s going to be freaking the fuck out the entire time. Things are going to go wrong, and Capricorn is going to be the one to fix it. Every time a bump group gets out of order or the sound equipment won’t work, Capricorn is going to save the day. It’s going to be one hell of a week, but your chapter will be grateful for all your hard work.
Aquarius (January 19 – February 18)
For PNMs: Aquarius is the life of the rush group. She doesn’t take anything too seriously and is going to be 100 percent real during recruitment and it’s going to work out in her favor. She should be careful of her chronic resting bitch face, which could unintentionally make the actives believe she’s not interested in their chapter when really she totally is. Either way, she’ll find a sorority that loves her blunt humor and DGAF attitude.
For Actives: Aquarius is the one who makes everything fun. She keeps the rest of the actives sane when everyone wants to kill the recruitment chair for making them do the doorstack full out for the millionth time. She’s the one cracking jokes about how Carrie should be used to being on her knees for awhile. Recruitment would be worse without Aquarius.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
For PNMs: Pisces is very sensitive so she might take getting cut from a house she likes personally. She can very easily let it affect her experiences at the houses that did invite her back, which would be bad. She should try and keep an open mind during recruitment and trust the system because Pisces is going to end up right where she belongs.
For Actives: A chapter needs Pisces to keep everyone calm and collected. While others might be freaking out when someone loses their name tag or they can’t find the straws for the water, Pisces is the one to make a new nametag and find the straws under the sink. She’s great at talking to PNMs because she can literally talk about anything with anyone, which makes her a serious asset to the chapter.
Good luck with recruitment, and may the stars be ever in your favor! .