A restaurant called Top of the Hill in Chapel Hill, North Carolina was recently subjected to a theft, of exactly three beer keg taps. I don’t know why a person would be able to purchase a keg and the beer to fill it, but need to resort to thievery for a $40 item (which you really only need one of), unless they were a bunch of teenagers who found a keg on the side of the road and some bullies broke the tap they bought, but that sounds like an episode of That ‘70s Show, because it is.
The restaurant owners didn’t actually notice, however, that the taps had been stolen, until the Walgreens told them that beer was leaking through their ceiling. Hallelujah, folks! It’s raining beer! But that also means beer was being wasted, and we all know that spilling is a sin.
Event manager Molly Drake told Chapel Boro:
“I guess in his overzealousness to steal one of them, he left the tap running, which ran and ran and ran for about an hour. We spilt something close to 500 pints of beer,” said Drake.
Good lord, that’s a lot of wasted booze. Make them drink it off the floor? House rules, ya know. In addition to the loss in sales, Top of the Hill also suffered at least $500 worth of damages in addition to the damages caused to Walgreens. The restaurant is currently offering a free keg, plus a $200 gift certificate to anyone with informations, which is kind of dope.
I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson here. If you’re going to steal a tap, at least steal it from a sophomore’s party after the keg has run out, like a decent human. Sheesh. (Kidding. Stealing is bad.).
[via Chapel Boro]
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
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